Friday, January 21, 2005

When The Music's Over....

It had been a long day, or perhaps it would be more appropriate to call it a long night. The King had tossed and turned and been unable to find sleep. Finally, fully awake, he decided to ponder over the problems that were causing him the sleeplessness. He lay still and lit a cigarette. As the smoke rings rose, the answers seemed to appear before him. The complexities seemed to vanish. As the hour wound down, he knew.....all that remained was putting it into action....that would take an effort, he knew. But somehow, he was much calmer. It was almost as if, with realization, life seemed easier to understand....ah well, the last cigarette was finished.....he needed sleep

The deepest has passed. Anyway, in keeping with my current state-of-mind, this one's going to be a bit cynical (did I say, "a bit"????). The cynicism has been brought on by a number of things, not least the magnitude of the bloodbath that Term 2 has been in this batch. I'm through, of that I am sure, but there are several people I know, who with 3 papers still due, have already realized that their stint in this institute is over. It's sad, specially when one considers that some of these guys deserve to stay, but have been the unfortunate object of the wrath of the professors, the vagaries of a system which sees different sections get startlingly different results (thanks to different profs) and the sheer high-handedness of the process. Anyway, why discuss something one has no control over?

I read a post on a blog about love. It discussed the "fairytale" concept, the sugary pill that we are all fed on TV and in the films.....Person A is so blindly in love that he forgives his/her lover hating him/her etc etc. It shows the state iof immaturity of our society right now, in my opinion. I often call "love" non-existant. Just a metaphor for lust. It's not that I do not belive in the idea at all. It's just that the way these things are portrayed so often is so silly. After all, let's face it. What do you think "love at first sight" really means? Lust. Full stop. If I have only SEEN a woman, how on Earth can I love her? It's just plain and simple lust for the physical form I have seen. In my first post on this blog, I described the next few steps that such a course of action generally takes. Yeah, I know that most people disagree, but I credit that more to the influence that the movies have on the psyche.

Wrote the following piece once while coming out of a depression. Reading it after returning to the ground ensured that I did not partake of any abusive substances for over 3 years.....

Take a look at yourself,
Whom do you lie to please?
Yourself or me?
Or the world you perceive?
The lie of life that you live,
Or is it what lives?
And consumes you in itself?
When you begin to pain

Aching joints never heal,
Unless you give them a rest,
Like the mind that believes,
Until it can see,
Is this me or a dream,
Something best kept unseen?
Within you my being,
Life uncovered a Hell

So maybe it’s true what they say about you,
Only as far as you show, that far we shall go,
Not me, I could never know,
The still waters run deep, lies are the truth you show,
If you would only care to tell,
But then you never tried to extend,
For in yourself you felt you would live,
While the world never would heed

And maybe Life led you to this,
A dead-end to begin,
This long road to bliss,
Maybe relieve you of grief,
But could you ever tell,
That vision from Hell,
Standing under that dark tree,
Was that you or me?

Ride to ethereal dreams,
Seeing blind expanses of hate,
Of things said to deceive,
Said by you or was it me?
Someday we’ll see what we tried to believe,
And tried to help conceal,
From eyes we wanted to live in,
And years we spent doing things best unsaid


Anonymous said...

And maybe Life led you to this,
A dead-end to begin....very nice

Anonymous said...

Love is not "romeo and juliet" is mr and mrs iyer

Vishy said...

Lust it is. I think this is an idea for a post on me blog. Nice to see someone with similar ideas :)

Darth Midnightmare said...

Thanks red. And G, I haven't seen the movie (Mr n Mrs. I), so shall take your word for it ;-).

Abhi said...

hey M.
love at first sight is nuthin but lust or attraction or a crush or whatever.but what if one gets to know a person and knows the this one girl understands all the things i dont say , she doesnt care the way i look , she doesnt bother if i am lazy .she just loves me for what i am , not how i look.this may look very impractical.but it can has with someone.

but ur blog is one of the most insightful ive ever come across.really , the way u are able to see ur interbal conflicts is just so true.keep posting.