Thursday, January 27, 2005

Awakening to Sleep

What do we really want in life? Somehow the more I think of it, the more it strikes me that we can only tell what we really want in hindsight....after looking at what we lost and what we gained. We also condition ourselves into believing that what we got was actually what we really wanted. It's natural and it also helps us get over all that we seem to have lost.

Started thinking about htis when someone mentioned that the Alchemist is right in its philosophy that if you want something badly, the entire Universe conspires to give it to you. It's so fundamentally untrue if you ask me, because if indeed it were true, we would all be perenially happy creatures wallowing in the fulfillment of all our dreams. Yet, reality shows that dreams are shattered everyday.

It also brings up the concept of transcience. After all, what we want today, we may not want tomorrow. So who decides what we REALLY want? In hindsight, there are several things that I seemingly "lost", things I was depressed about, which today seem as if losing them was the right thing to happen. There are also things I still pine for, years after losing them. So what's real?

Loss, that is what is real. It is depressing at times to think that almost all that is real in the world is depressing. At times, I wish I could be like the people around me. Celebrate innocuous and petty things as achievements, live in an illusion of bliss, live in a belief that everything is well as it is and that there is nothing further to be thought of, or to find out. I wish I could live in that dream.....but too often I find myself awakening.....into a sleep that seems much more real.

4 comments:

Vishy said...

I was like everyone, happy when things were fine and sad when they were bad. And then for some reason, I started to question things.

For one, I saw a pattern in life as such... happiness and sorrow came with regularity. So much so that whenever good things happen I feel "Damn ! It's bad's turn now" and when I'm down in the dumps " Ah ! I was crushed before and I arose, so I bet its gonna happen again"

You kinda feel imprisoned by chance/fate/luck. And that's humiliating. *I* was made in the image of God ( so says the Bible :) ) and its kinda pathetic that I must be subjected to the caprices of fate.

Sumit said...

Sometimes it does seem to be true that things are falling into places you wanted them to. But then moments later you realize that perhaps you wanted something else and feel miserable all over again...

Sometimes when I look back at my life, I can't seem to comprehend why I wanted to do the things I did.. I feel life is a continuum and we can never be sure of what we want in black and went.. shades of grey dominate everything..everywhere...

John Murdock said...

What makes us do the things we do? What makes us want the things we want? Is it actually fate and the path is already laid out for us? Or are we subconsciously working towards a larger goal for ourselves. If so, what is this goal and why do I bother? Our day-to-day lives are fill with so many actions that inevitably effect the way we are at the end of the day. What makes us want to do anything? Why do we have to even get out of bed? Is it all just to avoid boredom?

Darth Midnightmare said...

@Vish. Very true. The cycles are continual.

@Sumit. That's what I said about hindsight and a conditioning memory influencing our decisions on what we "really" wanted "badly"

@John. Yes. I have posted on that fate/choice thing before. Spent loads of time on it. And that is what makes me reject the concept of God. If there is indeed a God, why does life seem so aimless? Why the endless cycles? Unless of course, God is a creature who revels in his seemingly unlimited powers, subjecting us to this misery to derive some sadistic pleasure in his ability to play the role of the master of puppets....