Sunday, February 06, 2005

You Live, You Learn

Met an old friend today. Sat and talked with him after years and I must say, it was really fantastic. He sums up everything I am not. We're so similar and yet, poles apart. And today, just sitting and talking with him for those two hours made me realize a lot of things....things that were there in my brain, but were buried in a dark corner....

His life is proof that Coelho got it all awfully wrong....or let's just say that Coelho wrote about something that HE either went through or saw someone going through. This chap had everything. Rich, good-looking, intelligent, great relationship, was studying in a premier institute and had dreams that seemed so close to being realized.....but it's a strange thing, this life...

Overnight, he lost what counted most....his dreams and his freedom....or so it seemed. Suddenly his life had turned crazy. His relationship suddenly had no future.....there was no choice. His dreams had no path that could be followed. He was stuck. But that's where I got it so damn wrong.

I went through perhaps only a fraction of what he did. But while it made me turn to philosophy, depression and caused a total death of motivation, from what I saw today, he's risen above it all. He still has a dream. he's learnt to accept life as it is. To quote his words, "You can't change the past and you can't see the future, so all you have is the present. LIVE it. You don't know if you will ever see tomorrow." It's so simple. We all know it and yet, very few of us can implement and live this philosophy.

"You're not the person I knew. The you I remember was smart, intelligent, witty, didn't really give a damn and while moody, was always up for a mischief-filled time. Now that spark is gone." These words really made me think of those words I used, "The future is my past". I've always been moody, always been a depressive, always been hiding from everyone......but not like this....

"I was me, but now he's gone" (Fade to Black - Metallica). That line about sums it up....

What he has done though is to show me a way back....

Today was a miserable day till I met him, but that meeting seemed to change my perspective for whatever happened afterwards. Spoke to someone and realized that where there is joy, there is also unrivalled pain and hurt and what seems so perfect is often the last thing we need. But at the end of the day, today, as I lie down to sleep.......I know.....I wouldn't have life any other way. All the pain, all the misery, it's all fine.....I sleep at peace with myself.

S and K, I know you won't read this, but thank you for today. It was awesome. And it's great just to have you people in my life.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

we all have dreams but sometimes they fade with the passage of time,we try to re dye them if not,again we start dreaming with a hope...a hope which brings future to us in the form a present and we all move with it...red

Sumit said...

"You can't change the past and you can't see the future, so all you have is the present. LIVE it. You don't know if you will ever see tomorrow."

You try to live by these words, for a while it works. But then out of the blue something happens and its the same old feeling..again...

neeta said...

hey there!

Thanks for calling. Talking to you made me feel infinitely better, even through the messed up, sucky networks. You sounded so much better that I guess some if it seeped through.

You are right about the LIVE NOW part too... only hope we can practise it for real! Gets awfully difficult sometimes.

Cheers!

Darth Midnightmare said...

Sumit: You're dead right. We try and then we fall back again....because all too often we are yearning for something we don't or can't have...and that's the very point. Facing reality and accepting it is perhaps the toughest thing possible...but it is really the only way.....

Neeta: Chill! Made me feel better too :D so it's mutual :D

Vidhi said...

johnny, i am just beginning to understand the essence of and the pain in 'where reality is a nightmare', tho i dunno wut turned ur reality to a nightmare. and i dont blame u for not believing in wut coehlo said. we believe only wut we experience first hand. fair enough! and i really feel bad abt wut ur friend went thru.

Darth Midnightmare said...

Red, you're right about the dying and redying. The thing is, fading is something that happens. It's the jerks that hurt. And it's about handling them....

Thanks V. As for what turned reality into a nightmare, well, I don't want to get into that right now....it was a long time back, but sometimes things just live with you, though what started it may be dead and gone...

Zarine said...

"Sometimes what seems perfect is the last thing you need" - Nothing can be closer to truth than this line.

Govar said...

You must be lucky for meeting such ones, for, it's tough these days to meet Pheoenix-like souls!