Was flipping through Symposium (Plato) again last night. It's something I should have done before. I love the conversation that Socrates has with Diotima. Though I have read the book before, last night, I seemed to understand the same things much better, perhaps because I can now relate to them.
The conversation I mentioned just underlines how human beings are condemned to misery through our very nature. Our eternal quest for being lord and master (divinity as Diotima calls it) whether of our lives or its individual parts, our ceaseless hunt for glory and fame and the yearning to possess, is what ruins us. Yes, I nkow, Buddhist philosophy also talks of this, but the way Socrates and Diotima talk is very real, it's about you and me, not a saint speaking about attaining "moksha".
After all, what is morality? What is right and wrong if not what I feel them to be? Can we really be taught this? And are there any absolute rules? Not the way I see it. Ultimately, every time we take an action, we take it because we feel it to be right. If time shows it to be wrong in terms of the outcome, that still does not alter in any way the fact that when I took the action, I was right. I was right and still am.
So when I look back, I know what I did was right. I made a decision and stuck to it. Not that time has proved me wrong. To all the world, what I did seems good and right. But, what if it destroyed my fabric? Or then again, did it? It changed something perhaps, maybe even killed me, but what does that make of my action? Should I have done things differently? I know I will ponder these questions.....for years perhaps.....
The answers lie in the past. And they will only be found in the future. A paradox.....just like the rest of life. In the end, I guess, our futures are just a bunch of memories.
Seeds of life scattered by the winds,
Should have been so easy; except for the men,
Chasing desire, lost to themselves,
Caught in the crossfire of castles and streets,
Beset by woes of happiness and bliss,
When vice is virtue, can you contain avarice?
When myopic eyes scour distant lands,
A twisted lens contorts my every glance
Caged by the rules, bleeding from the wounds,
Opened in the quest, now an unstemmable flow,
Losing my conquests, searching for more,
But could I let go or forever hold on,
The dreams causing a war in head,
I'm lost in this quest for finding my way,
This realm of nightmares so quiet and real,
The future's clear and just a memory...