Saturday, February 12, 2005

Am I Really In There?

"The 93% rule. This states that 93% of what we make of people is determined not by what they say or do but by other factors which could include body language, looks ......" Probably one of the few things taught here that I found spot on. Dunno who was actually so wasted in life that he had tht time to determine the exact percentage, but very true.....

All of us seem to have opinions of everyone around. Whether we have ever interacted with those people or not doesn't really seem to make a difference. We always have an opinion. But what interests me more is the reasons that cause us to instinctively like or dislike a person. There are some people who really seem to have nothing wrong about them, and yet they are universally disliked. What causes this?

I have often noticed people being very uncomfortable in my company. It's not that I say anything to them. It's just a discomfort they feel. I spoke to a few people and found that some of them face the very same thing. You hear people saying about these people, "Well, he's ok, I guess, but he's weird. Can't say what, but somehow I don't like him."

When you think about it, it's all down to our habit of forming an opinion about these people even before we have spoken to the, "He's arrogant" or "She's dumb" etc etc. Then, when you sit and speak to that person, somehow, it strikes you that things aren't exactly what you thought. And something starts worrying you. It's something you can't place your finger on exactly....just something that's playing in your subconscious, something that tells you that there's something wrong with this person.

Most often, this happens to people who wear a public face which is different from themselves. Don't mistake me, we all do this. However much you may want to believe otherwise, each one of us has a face that we present to the public...some do it to be accepted and liked, some do it so that people leave them alone...some do it to avoid getting hurt.....but we all do it....

It's just that the degree of difference between these two faces varies. The public you and the real you are different. But the difference between the two varies from person to person. And the higher this difference, the more uncomfortable people are around such a person once they start seeing the difference.

I find that most often, these people are the ones that are hiding themselves so that they either get left alone, or don't allow anyone to get close....to understand them and see them as they really are....the people who want to be liked also go through this, but to a lesser extent. When they do face this sort of thing, it's more a case of people thinking of such people as wannabes or just general buffoons. The first type are generally perceived as snobs, stand-offish or just plain arrogant....and most of these people actually like this.....it serves their purpose totally.....

4 comments:

Zarine said...

Well,let each one live the way they are comfortable with :).Faces or no faces,it'll always hurt.The faces might soften the blow,but the blow will come...

Anonymous said...

Oye !!...Soohasss here...had met Vish...came for his GD PI..he gave me the link !!..nice place here....hope u got my msg...wanted to call u tht day but cell got fucked...hope things clear up there...

see ya around

http://emperorprometheus.rediffblogs.com/

suhas

Darth Midnightmare said...

True Zarine, but as you said, at times the blow is softened and that is the very objective.

Hey Suhas, thanx for droppin' by. Yep, got yuor message. As for the mess, what can I say? I try not to talk about the acad thingies here....

geetu said...

hey mike! Happy Valentines Day!
mm u no somethin that happens wid me.. it may sound wierd.. but wen i meet a person.. i get a feelin.. its either queasy.. or its a definite 'i like this person..' or its nothin..
now i tend to stay away from the queasy ppl.. get very friendly wid the 'like' category ppl.. n the 'nothin' category ppl intrigue me.. cos mostly they have lotsa walls... ha ha ha.. !
i agree wid the different faces thing.. evrybody is a different person in public.. kinda sho their best face in public.. but if u no someone for loong.. u can see the true face.. cos how loong can someone keep up the pretense!!