Sunday, October 09, 2005

You've Been Disconnected

I often wonder how much technology really helps us. I mean seriously, look around you and the world is replete with examples of how our lives would have been so much easier and better in terms of quality, had we not had technology screwing things up for us. Think about it. Hasn’t it ever happened to you that you’re sitting with this gorgeous woman (or if you’re a woman, then with a guy) and while you want to enjoy the moment and get to know the other person, this significant other is glued to her mobile!!!!

Now, this has happened to me several times and each time, I have been consumed with these thoughts of whether the chappie at the other end is better-looking than me (which is nearly always the case), whether he speaks better than me (again, very common) or whether she likes him better than me (this is the norm…never failed to be true, unfortunately). Now, while the latter two are things that really can’t be judged outright, I have always managed to convince myself that the assortment of these men who ruin my happiness on any date I happen to be on, are not actually that much better-looking than me…..

But then, I hadn’t reckoned on that beast called technology. Sure enough…..it has decided to ruin even that little bit of happiness in my life. For now, thanks to something they call 3G technology, you can actually see the people you are speaking to and knowing women to be the sadists that they are (at least the women I know are sadists), I know that they will delight in flaunting to me the visuals of the men they speak to, leaving me in no doubt about where I stand in the pecking order regarding looks and also depriving me of that shelter I used to give myself that these bozos couldn’t be that much better looking than me…..anyway, I think I am now digressing……this post is actually meant to be about my torrid experiences with the beasts called mobile phones……not about my dating problems….which would take a decade to detail and would make for very boring writing and reading anyway……

It was in April that I had my mobile phone stolen. Now, that was not really the most pleasant experience, but then again, that phone had endured a fire in my room and not stopped working even though one side had been heavily charred, so although I was not too happy about losing the dear little thing, I had the feeling that it had served it's purpose admirably well, never having given me any problems and therefore the twinge of regret at losing the phone was not too bad.....specially when one considers that all the previous phones I had owned had conked off within a few months….and the dealers had always come up with newer and newer excuses, like a shortage of silica on Mars or a blockade by the Vader-led Trade Federation fleet etc etc and had also come up with newer and increasingly more successful sales pitches to make me buy more expensive handsets in place of the spoilt one….and this one hadn’t conked off….so maybe things were looking up on that front at least!!!

Well, once again I proceeded to buy another handset, but trust me, I had no idea at that time what an emotional roller-coaster I had embarked on. Bought towards the end of April, my new buddy rendered exemplary service from Day One and quickly took the place of my lost companion. Being the same model as my ex, it was also a natural replacement and there was no cause for complaint from my side….nor of course on the phone’s for, not only can a phone not complain, I gave it no opportunity to! Well, I should have known better than to expect that I could own any bit of technology without having a problem sooner than later…and sure enough, come the start of June and technology decided it had given me enough of a head-start and then hauled me in pretty rapidly!!!!

My buddy caught an infection that caused him to hang on me…..every 15 minutes, he’d have to restart…… Minor problem probably, I thought and back to the Nokia showroom I went……and this was where the nightmare began. My phone was taken away from me and returned 3 days later….repaired they said…..15 minutes later, I was on my way back to the hostel….and the phone was back on its way to the workshop…..the problem still lurked…… And it continued to lurk apparently, as this scene was then re-enacted 4 more times between June 20th and July 24th. Finally, in a bid to get rid of me, Nokia decided to give me a brand new handset….as they confessed that they were just not able to get what the problem was!!!!

I should have known though that the problem was not so easy to solve……because the problem was not the phone in my opinion, but me!!!! I have said before that I believe that all technological devices are aware of my ineptitude in handling technology and this new phone then proceeded to prove me right. On Day One, when I charged the damn thing, it said “Not Charging”. Now, this was stupid in my opinion, for the charger was clearly connected to the socket and yet the phone had decided that it did not want to charge, although anyone with half-decent eyes would have told you that it badly needed a stiff W&S or something to charge it up!

Well, further experiments proved that my phone could be charged with any charger from any socket in any room…..other than in my room!!!! And so it was that my sojourn with my newest buddy began. This eccentricity of my phone though was pretty easy for me to forgive actually, as the way I chose to see it, at least it worked!!!

Well, for all the working, this phone has now decided that it has had enough of me…..and this one didn’t even have the common decency to serve notice on me! It just switched itself off and refuses to start up now……the charging light shines all the time except when the charger is connected to it and the screen doesn’t light up at all. So, for all practical purposes, all I am left with is a gizmo that could act as a phone and camera and music player…….when it worked, that is!!!! But, if this should also fail to convince you of the effect that I have on technology, sample this…..

In the last few days, 2 people who have never had even the slightest problem with their phones, found their phones hang!!!! When and how, did you ask? Well, the moment I borrowed it to play a game……ah well, technology and me……just not made for each other I guess……

Oh and by the way, for any well-wishers I may have out there (are there any?), I have now not had a puff for five days…and this includes booze parties where I refrained as well……so much for all the people who thought I’d never be able to….:-)

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Like your page very much. I'll be back again for sure.

Keep on keeping on!

Jamie.

karuna said...

Look at it this way... those bozos only get to talk to them on the phone... yr the one on the date right while they sit home rotting!
And my first tiem here but im proud that its been 5 days... good on ya :D

Darth Midnightmare said...

@karuna: Thanks.......it's amazing though....I am somehow now repulsed by the smell :-). Finally I know what my friends used to have to endure.....I think that is what matters more than anything else :-).

As for talking on the phone, well, what can I say? I look at it this way, they prefer the phone to my company :-(. Naaah.....am not that bad ;-)

Anonymous said...

it's annoying when ppl try to say all sortsa granny like clever li'l lines...
like 'life is like a box of chocloates' or 'life is like a soccer game'...
shows sucha a vapid imagination...but here the analogy is just right...
mobile phones r like women...rather...*ur* mobiles phone r like the women in *ur* mars/venus posts...
just make no f****** sense...no one (including the Creator Nokia in ur case) understands them...
damn!...if i were a guy...i would've gone on n on :D

oh n ur previous post...goes the same with books...
i mean...after 50 yrs...who is gonna pick up salman rushdie n say wow?!...
nah!...he won't survive

Susie

Vidhi said...

hi mukund!! ur experiments with these phones seem quite mysterious!! something like Mr. Bean...when he's around, no electronic instruments work!!

Falconmyst said...

I'M BACK!
I disconnected myself from the net for awhile, the audience in my head was over crowded and I needed a break; still plugging a my novel that'll never find an end. So thank's to y our encouragements I thought I'd blog away again...

I Take No Logic said...

Well wisher??? yes... it never too late, is it? Phones have been an eternal problem with me too... finally someone came up with expressing his woes, while all others still chose to continue flaunting their gadgets, not letting others know that it doesnt work well either... ;)

Darth Midnightmare said...

@Susie: Yep :-) Right on both counts. The phones I own do sound like women and books are indeed fantastic company.... :-)

@Vidhi: Hmmm... Right in a way... My computer and music system (not to mention my car stereo) also give me more problems than those owned by others... :-). Maybe I should have been an Amish or something...

@Falconmyst: Great going, mate. And nothing really does have an end does it? It's all about where we choose to add no more... So technically speaking, it will have an end :-)

@ITNL: First up, thanks. And wow! It's nice to know that I am not the only person that suffers with mobile phones. :-)