Sunday, October 16, 2005

Free-flowing Spurts

"Then why are you so perturbed?"

"I'm not really... I guess I'm just wondering about the entire flow of thoughts...wondering about where it all begins, where it ends and where I fit in...if I do, that is..."

"You've always been a liar haven't you? To me at least..."

"Yeah...but you're the only person I can lie to with a clean heart..."

But sometimes I wonder if there is any such thing as a lie at all, or whether it's all about which side of the prism we choose to see things through...

"I hope you realise that you're f*cking weird"

"Hmmm...isn't that a weird question to ask me? Do I say I am or do I say that I am not? You obviously think I am...and if I say I'm not that would be pretty much the way you would expect me to react...and if I say I am, you'd just take that as further evidence for your assumption that I am truly weird"

"If you could only have heard what you just said, you'd know exactly why I say that you're weird"

"Yeah, but that's exactly the reason why you miss out of the best of it. Because you'll never even see the other side. You'll never know what the solution is because you see every puzzle as something that's inconsequential...simply because you can't comprehend it... The very people you need are the people you'll never give a chance..."

"Will you let that rest? I don't need your damned theorizing. I don't need your self-righteous philosophising. I don't even need your vain attempts at logic. All you've ever done is to put me off ever speaking to you. I'm glad I never have and I know that I never will..."

"And that is exactly what I said... You'll never know...and because of that neither will I...and that's why we'll both die wondering if we could have helped each other over the crest"

"Think again...coz I won't ever think that way..."

Perhaps that is why those that can help will always die sadder than those they could have helped. Because they're the only ones that see it that way...

"You don't even matter to me."

"Then why do you get so damned perturbed when I am around? Why can't you stand my very existence? Why do you wish that you'd never even set eyes on me?"

"Because you do exist. Because you're so obnoxious that I can't ignore the fact that you're there. Because I can't miss the fact that you upset me by your very your existence. I get perturbed because you are who you are."

"Is that the way it is? Or is it just that you can't take the fact that I am not me...that I am not who you want me to be... Why is it that my silence irks you more than the words of the persons that you know so well and those that wish they knew you even better than that?"

"That's a lie. I've never known you. I've never even thought of far as I am concerned you may not exist. You do not in the least bit affect my're inconsequential in my scheme of things and that's the way it has always been....and the way it always will be...maybe it's just you that can't live with that..."

"Isn't that what we just went over? Or perhaps you just like seeing my words in a different different your words...through your prism...with a darker tint. Maybe you should just ask yourself....if you knew me, would I still be me?"

I love it when silence is all-pervasive


Anonymous said...

well thats true ....sometimes people who care for the whole world besides themselves...can get disturbed even by ur silence ...leave apart ...ideology well thats their misery ...:)


DJK said...

"it’s not really pleasant when at 4 AM in the middle of a potential lap-record lap on NFS Underground…sorry, I mean, in the middle of…ahem…studying "

and to think your status read, "exam time : DOD unless blah blah" Hmph! No concession for you. I shall bug you when i want to. Exams or otherwise.