Now, I consider myself a technological idiot. I don't know how to even modify the template of a blog. I mean, I look up to those who can, and consider them to be blooming geniuses, but they seem to think it is such a matter of fact thingy, that at times I get a bit ashamed of my own shortcomings. It's not nice you know, when you are at the receiving end of a comment like:
"Oh, come on, it's so easy!!!! Just go the html code and change the turbo settings to increase the nitro boost every time you want to enter hypertext and then alter the piece of code that will make your text float out of the screen when the viewer wants to eat some RSS and link it directly to the point where the mumbo meets the jumbo and finally delete that atom there and instead use some XML to increase the mark of the linkages of your page in the pasta section of the spaghetti."
Yes, I know, the technophiles among you are wondering what sort of idiot I am that I can't understand such a simple task, but to me it's incomprehensible and I really do admire those that do these kind of things....I've always admired rocket scientists......
Anyway, as technologically impaired as I may be, I do know how to use a phone! I really think it's not that difficult and after a year or so of intensive training, I found that I knew how to use most of the basic functionalities of a phone.....making calls, receiving calls and sometimes I am even successful at sending messages!!! Which is why I am sometimes amazed at the sheer lack of training that some people exhibit. Sample this for example...
Last night I received a call from some number that I did not know. So, I called back and this is what ensued:
Me: Hullo, I received a call from this number
She: No. I have never called this number
Me: You must have, otherwise how could I have got a call from this number?
She: No. I did not call this number
(Now, she was sounding pissed. As if she thought I was a rogue trying to make conversation with her on a silly pretext.)
Me: Look, I am on roaming and this is an STD call. I don't have money to burn you know. So, did you or anyone with you make a call to a number in Bombay??
She: No!!!!! I tell you I did NOT!!!!
Me: OK.....sorry to trouble you then....(I cut off after this.)
But that's not where it ends (obviously). 5 minutes later, she called back!!!
She: I called to tell you that my friend had called you. I'm sorry.
Me: No problem
She: Are you Rachit?
Me: No, I'm not. (Told her my name and all that. It turned out to be a misunderstanding and we disconnected)
5 minutes later, I got a call again from her!!!!
She: Are you Rachit?
Me: No, I told you, I am not Rachit! You've got a wrong number
She:Oh! But he gave me this number!
Me: *Sigh* Then it's probably time you got the message. Anyway, he gave you the wrong number or else you heard it wrong. I am not Rachit.
(Again we disconnected)
This morning, she called me again!!!!!!!
She: Hi, Rachit???
Me: *Sigh* No! I am not Rachit. I told you, I am Mukund!!! I have no idea whom you want. I do not know anyone called Rachit. I am not even in Bombay right now! I have never come across anyone called Rachit.
She: Oh! OK......
5 minutes later, my drunken sleep was broken again....
She: Hi, Rachit?
Me: Lady, you're getting on my nerves now. I told you, I am on roaming and I am not Rachit!!! Get it? Not Rachit, not Rachit, not Rachit!!! I am Mukund!!!!!
She: But I confirmed. He had given me this number.....
Goddamn! Did she really think that I would have metamorphosed into Rachit??? Keep calling the same number if you have the wrong one.....you may find that the person receiving it has suddenly metamorphosed into the person you want him to be!!! Or perhaps he will get so frustrated with your stupidity that he'll dig out the person you're looking for or at least find his number!!! Jeez!!!! By the way, I shall not bore you, but she called once more after that to inform me that this was the number that this ass Rachit had even given his own folks!!!! Ooooh! Thank you. That knowledge changes my freaking life! I will now attain Nirvana!!!!!!!!
This also reminds me of another incident when an irate friend slammed the receiver into place and turned to face me.
He: I think she either gave me the wrong number or that MTNL have completely lost it!
Me: No, the number's correct. I spoke to her in the morning....
He: Well, I have tried at least 20 times now...and each time I get the same wrong number!!!!
Me: Hmmm.....that's strange....
He: You bet it is. I think I'll sue MTNL
Me: Is this the number you are dialling?
Me: OK....try again...
He picked up the phone and promptly pressed the "Redial" button!!!! Yeah pal, sue MTNL....for having customers who are too damned stupid to own a telephone.....