Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Technologically Speaking....

Now, I consider myself a technological idiot. I don't know how to even modify the template of a blog. I mean, I look up to those who can, and consider them to be blooming geniuses, but they seem to think it is such a matter of fact thingy, that at times I get a bit ashamed of my own shortcomings. It's not nice you know, when you are at the receiving end of a comment like:

"Oh, come on, it's so easy!!!! Just go the html code and change the turbo settings to increase the nitro boost every time you want to enter hypertext and then alter the piece of code that will make your text float out of the screen when the viewer wants to eat some RSS and link it directly to the point where the mumbo meets the jumbo and finally delete that atom there and instead use some XML to increase the mark of the linkages of your page in the pasta section of the spaghetti."

Yes, I know, the technophiles among you are wondering what sort of idiot I am that I can't understand such a simple task, but to me it's incomprehensible and I really do admire those that do these kind of things....I've always admired rocket scientists......

Anyway, as technologically impaired as I may be, I do know how to use a phone! I really think it's not that difficult and after a year or so of intensive training, I found that I knew how to use most of the basic functionalities of a phone.....making calls, receiving calls and sometimes I am even successful at sending messages!!! Which is why I am sometimes amazed at the sheer lack of training that some people exhibit. Sample this for example...

Last night I received a call from some number that I did not know. So, I called back and this is what ensued:

Me: Hullo, I received a call from this number
She: No. I have never called this number
Me: You must have, otherwise how could I have got a call from this number?
She: No. I did not call this number

(Now, she was sounding pissed. As if she thought I was a rogue trying to make conversation with her on a silly pretext.)

Me: Look, I am on roaming and this is an STD call. I don't have money to burn you know. So, did you or anyone with you make a call to a number in Bombay??
She: No!!!!! I tell you I did NOT!!!!
Me: OK.....sorry to trouble you then....(I cut off after this.)

But that's not where it ends (obviously). 5 minutes later, she called back!!!

She: I called to tell you that my friend had called you. I'm sorry.
Me: No problem
She: Are you Rachit?
Me: No, I'm not. (Told her my name and all that. It turned out to be a misunderstanding and we disconnected)

5 minutes later, I got a call again from her!!!!

She: Are you Rachit?
Me: No, I told you, I am not Rachit! You've got a wrong number
She:Oh! But he gave me this number!
Me: *Sigh* Then it's probably time you got the message. Anyway, he gave you the wrong number or else you heard it wrong. I am not Rachit.

(Again we disconnected)

This morning, she called me again!!!!!!!

She: Hi, Rachit???
Me: *Sigh* No! I am not Rachit. I told you, I am Mukund!!! I have no idea whom you want. I do not know anyone called Rachit. I am not even in Bombay right now! I have never come across anyone called Rachit.
She: Oh! OK......

5 minutes later, my drunken sleep was broken again....

She: Hi, Rachit?
Me: Lady, you're getting on my nerves now. I told you, I am on roaming and I am not Rachit!!! Get it? Not Rachit, not Rachit, not Rachit!!! I am Mukund!!!!!
She: But I confirmed. He had given me this number.....

Goddamn! Did she really think that I would have metamorphosed into Rachit??? Keep calling the same number if you have the wrong one.....you may find that the person receiving it has suddenly metamorphosed into the person you want him to be!!! Or perhaps he will get so frustrated with your stupidity that he'll dig out the person you're looking for or at least find his number!!! Jeez!!!! By the way, I shall not bore you, but she called once more after that to inform me that this was the number that this ass Rachit had even given his own folks!!!! Ooooh! Thank you. That knowledge changes my freaking life! I will now attain Nirvana!!!!!!!!

This also reminds me of another incident when an irate friend slammed the receiver into place and turned to face me.

He: I think she either gave me the wrong number or that MTNL have completely lost it!
Me: No, the number's correct. I spoke to her in the morning....
He: Well, I have tried at least 20 times now...and each time I get the same wrong number!!!!
Me: Hmmm.....that's strange....
He: You bet it is. I think I'll sue MTNL
Me: Is this the number you are dialling?
He: YEAH!!!!
Me: OK....try again...

He picked up the phone and promptly pressed the "Redial" button!!!! Yeah pal, sue MTNL....for having customers who are too damned stupid to own a telephone.....

12 comments:

angel nidhi said...

hi !
well .. about bllog skin changing .. u can google .. n u'll find many sikns for free.. who said u need to know html / xml n all those ml's :D .. otherwise u have frnz like me.. who love to change the blog skins :D .. hehe..

n about rachit.. :) ill have to ask my borther if he gave some lady a wrong munber.. incidently his name is rachit .. hehe.. ill find out.. dun worry.. n next time she calls u up.. tell her that u found her rachit.. he is in bhopal right now.. n studing in 11th standard.. or else.. tel her.. that she can call him @ 100 .. co u got him arrested .. for giving her a wrong number :P ..
newayz ..
when i get such stupid calls.. i dun disconnect .. i just remind the person on the other end.. ki .. bacchu .. in comming free.. hai.. keep calling.. ill keep recieving .. and they will keep charging u :P ..
but ur on raoming.. so what ever i said wont make ne sense :D..

bbye
nidhi
tc
gday

I said...

lololol..i cant stop laughing...reminded me of some incident...this happened with me..i was getting a call from bihar and someone was asking for some mishraji or jha ji...3-4 times when this happend and when i told them its a wrong number, they did not listen...so when they called me 5th time...and enquired me for mishraji/jhaji...i told them in a low voice...he died last nite and morning i saw him on pyre...sob sob!!!

He was shocked...asked me who are u? and i replied "who can cry on his death???" i kept the phone and frinds sitting in front of me cud not stop laughing..i just smiled and said "i did it" i killed jha/mishra ji...

if i wud have been at her position..i wud have done the same thing to irritate u...naah i guess more than that :))

Ships

shveta (the one who called for rachit) said...

hi mukund
u know after calling u i checked that number at various sites and found ur name ...mukund pant ...searched ur name for a chance at orkut and was surprised to see ur id there decided to pry anf found the page...ur personal webpage gave me the view taht u were too pissed ...im sorry for taht but i still havent found rachit:)..and if u fel how can i do al taht ..i can bcoz im an mca and can try at least tat much anywayzz sorry for taht...but i really appreciate ur interest in football...sorry once again
shveta gupta:)

Darth Midnightmare said...

Hey Shveta, pardon the exaggerations in the post....just thought it made for some good humour :-). You have to admit that. And in my book, anything goes, in the name of humour :-). Not pissed or anything...chill out...it was just funny :D

M

neeta said...

lol... I can't believe she found you and your blog!

BTW, I've been getting calls from someone called Saju from the UAE, who claims he saw my number on Asianet!!!

In his words, my voice is very sweet and he wants to make friendship with me (ROTFL)! He calls me once every morning and once every night (I presume its before he goes to sleep). I've simply learnt to ignore calls coming in from country codes +96 and +97! Yeah, he calls from both!
What an absolute loser!

Naveen said...

this is too cool!!!
first i have to give it to shweta...she really did goto extremes to find out if u exist on the web...
i have to admit that my comment would have changed if i hadnt already seen her comment on ur post..:D
but still i will say this much...i just dont get it mukund dude...how dya manage to get urself into such situations...
and shwetaji...looks like u really need to talk to this rachit...hope that u find him ASAP...and when u do please do post on this page so that mukund and his readers will be satisfied...

one last thing...wehn shweta reads ur "in mars we trust" series...i am sure she will understand ur position and why u were sooo mad..

waiting for more such stuff...

adios

Naveen

Naveen said...

guess what will be icing on the cake now...that saju from uae coming across neeta's comment here...man we will get to see some fireworks on ur blog, mukund dude...

anil said...

The world indeed is such a small place. So what all modifications do you want on your site Sir ?

Anonymous said...

well guys just to let ya know taht taht was a prank i palyed on rachit:))...no one as sucj exits of whom i know even a an iota...but was jsut gettin bored at the hostel ...no classes on right now...so...i guess mukund was the cjosen one ...sorry...had gr8 time ...but now the classes ahve started;)

Sumit said...

Now dis is hilarious.. and Neeta... I didn't know your voice had the knack of putting ppl to sleep.. LOLz.

Now m waiting for my phone to ring... ;-)

Neha said...

lol.. r u still mukund or r u half mukund half rachit by now? :P

Darth Midnightmare said...

@Anil: Actually all I wanted was to know how to change the width of the text column....but it appears that to be allowed to do that, you need a special sanction from the Intelligent IT Solutions wing of the local MENSA chapter and also certifications from Microsoft and CISCO saying that you are above their benchmark IQ level. Thereafter, you are eligible to appear for the entrance test for TCS' Text Blogging for Idiots course......if you finish that 6-month course without flunking any papers, you will be granted access to the files pertaining to the task I wanted to perform......

As you can imagine, I gave up....I have decided that I am content with the way it looks right now....specially considering the terrifying alternative......

@Neha: What's in a name? :D......and yeah, in reply to the other query you had about me, yes, I am always scared!!! :D