In Mars We Trust - VI

This one is for ~J~....dedicated to her post about the lack of men with "initiative" and all those kinda things.....

Guy: “Umm…you know, errr….I, I really ….errr…..I really like you.”
Woman: “THAT has got to be the worst way of saying it that I have ever heard.”
(Awkward silence….woman twists a lip….the guy feels like jumping in front of the oncoming lorry. It was certainly a prettier sight imagining her weeping over his body than standing here like this being ridiculed…..)
Woman (after a 1 hour silence. At least it seemed like an hour to him.): “I’ve been waiting for months to hear you say that….”

Now, whenever I narrate this to a guy friend, he, like me, is all sympathy for the poor man in this, who’s made to squirm and feel like a total loser in this entire scenario. The women however, think it’s “So sweet!!!” Kinda predictable. After all, they are a species that delights in inflicting pain and humiliation on us ever-tolerant males…..

I mean look at it. Who’s the dumb one in the afore-mentioned conversation? The woman knew the chappie liked her for months, given her words. She also knew she liked him and she knew he was the type that dilly-dallied for months!!!! ….So what on Earth was stopping her from telling him herself????? Well, that is the logical thing to do, you’d say (if you’re male), but from where they stand, you see, that would mean forgoing the best way in which to make this chap feel small!!!!

Now, I can already hear the women clamouring and asking, “Why didn’t he tell her before???” Well, my dear ladies, the fault for that lies in you too! Think about it……a typical conversation between a group of women:

Woman1: That guy was such a jerk!!! I mean, he just walks right up to me and goes, "Can I buy you a drink?" Like, "Hel-lo!!!! Do I look like some kind of pick-up????? Get lost!!!!" You should have seen his face!!!! Looked like he wanted to kill himself (Laughter all around the table)

Woman2: Yeah, those guys are such creeps!!!! Like this guy who walked up to me last night and went, "I've been looking at you all evening" and I was like, "Huh?? Dumbass, I just got here!!!" Loser!!! (More peals of laughter)

And it goes on. Now, do you really think that after facing such sadistic brutality, these guys are going to be in a hurry to approach another woman….”take the initiative”, as women like to call it? Now contrast this to what would ensue if a woman, however hideous, approached a man……I can see the civility that would ensue. It’d probably sound like:

Woman: Hello, I saw you from over the bar. Can I buy you a drink?
Man: Uh….sure…..no problem….
Woman: OK….

It’s obvious that after a while this man will get a call from his girlfriend, wife, mother or his ex-boss’ manservant or maybe his maid’s dying grandmother, making it imperative for him to leave, but you see, he’s left the woman her pride. Do women do that with us? Uh-huh…..I mean, they’ll watch us fall over our feet and not just rub it in, but also go and crack jokes about it (with tons of exaggeration) to their girlfriends…..

So, just what do women want? Well, in my opinion, they just want to bring more misery to men. All I need to do is reflect on this conversation I had with a friend of mine recently….

Me: So, did he call?
She: No, not yet…I wonder why….has he called you for my number yet?
Me: Huh? You mean he doesn’t have your number?
She: No. I took his and told him I’d give him a missed call…..
Me: Then how do you expect him to call you?
She: He should work to get my number na? Let him make an effort ya.
Me: Huh? Dumbass!!! Call him!!!
She: No, let him stew…..

Huh???? Am I the only one that thinks she’s dumb???? Anyway, we all know women are dumb in any case, so why dwell on that?

Getting back to “taking the initiative”, have you noticed the number of easy lines that are no longer acceptable? I mean, women now don’t just want a man who approaches them, they also want a line they’ve never heard before…..now, how many stupid things are there that you can tell a person you’ve never met????? Kinda silly to expect newer stuff everytime if you ask me…..coz at this rate we’ll soon have men trying out stuff like, “So, which shampoo do you use for your pet poodle, if you have one?” or “Do you support Japan in their anti anti-whaling crusade?” or, “Which coloured tiles do you like in public restrooms?”

Seriously, if this is what feminism and women’s lib are all about, I’m all for a return to the Victorian era….though I must say that reading the travails of a certain Bertram Wilberforce Wooster has certainly made me wonder if things were any better then……

To top it all, I now have even the stupid advertising industry against me!!!!! I mean, women, WOMEN kept telling me that I should now leverage on the fact that am in an IIM……Well, that’s fair enough….or so I thought….

So, I got to Bombay with these grand plans…..only to see that the most popular ad amongst the women at that time was this stupid billboard with this woman on it saying “So, I am not from an IIM….so WHAT???” And these same women "looooorrrrveeee" it!!!!! ????????

*Sigh* Women……