Friday, December 30, 2005

Of B-Schoolers and the New Year

Now, I was late with the Christmas wishes, as it is my wont to be with most wishes quite honestly, so, I have hit upon quite an ingenious scheme to be on time on this occasion. Yes, I am wishing all of you a Happy New Year in advance! This way, there is no chance of another (ever-so-frequent) lapse of my terrible memory striking…

If I were doing a review of the year I’d say that I’ve learnt the following few things:

  1. The easiest form of humour is the man-woman kind.
  2. Wish lists take a long time to come true… (Then again, it may have something to do with the nature of my wish!!)
  3. The world has a quite astonishing population of idiots.
  4. You don’t need to really make a fool out of a person. Most of the time the person is quite willing to hit his own foot provided there is a conveniently placed hatchet (this is where your ingenuity comes in).

Enough of the review stuff though. And no, I am not now going to make a list of resolutions-to-be-broken-in-the-coming-year. It’s quite funny, you know. I am quite sure that at this point of the year, a number of blogs will carry those lists. Why humiliate yourself in public? It’s bad enough to break a resolution that just you were aware you had made. Listing it out means that the entire world knows when you break one…and then they laugh in their sadistic delight that they’re not alone…and by “they” of course, I allude to the unfortunate readers that actually go through the entire list of resolutions, although of course you may argue here that since they choose to go through the list, they’re not all that unfortunate really. By the way, don’t let this, in any way, stop you. I love having that laugh too :D. So please do make those lists.

That done though, let me get to the nub of this post. As a child and then right through my youth, I have often been called upon by my friends to provide them with plausible-sounding excuses to extricate them from the unimaginably sticky jams that they had contrived to get into. I was remarkably good at this sort of thing, even if I say so myself and that is, in no small measure I assure you, down to the fact that were I not in the possession of this ability, I would surely have been expelled from school before I was a week into kindergarten. Well, that may be exaggerating things slightly, as I was quite a sissy in kindergarten, but by second grade, I’d have been a goner for sure.

From the time I hurled a dust-bin filled with burning paper onto the Principal to the occasion when I actually drove two women insane by taking off the face-mask that makes me look semi-human, I was quite a terror. There was even the time that I took off my stilts and took advantage of my height (the lack of it, rather – since I stand at 4’1 with stilts, as you would no doubt recall from an earlier post of mine. By the way, that still places me as taller than A-H No. 1. That’s J in case you don’t recall the order and don’t want to read that post again) to enter the second grade classroom and tease the teachers by proving I was smarter than their pet students. Oh yes! I was a wicked boy!!!

Anyway, what I was in the process of arriving at before I digressed was that B-school actually removes, or at least blunts, this edge that I have been so used to holding over my peers in the years till now. I mean, right until the time I stepped into this place, I was always able to wriggle out of any situation that I was presented with, purely by conjuring up an excuse. Like if I was late, I’d just say that my stilts broke and so I had to run on my real legs and they, being not much more than a foot long, were really not that fast a way to travel! No friend of mine that has waited for me could ever nail me on that one.

Now, B-school actually levels the playing field. I don’t mind really, because it also made the entire thought process easier for me! I don’t need to think up excuses any more and that really has made life easier. My already miniscule brain can do without being overly burdened you know…

So, what is this magic excuse that we B-schoolers possess? Simple. “Dude, I’m busy with some work right now”. It just never fails. And you can use it with anybody. Even the chaps in B-schools...including your own. It’s really a boon. Call from the folks when you’re watching a movie? Someone at the door whom you don’t like? Boy/Girl or boyfriend/girlfriend that you’re trying to avoid/ditch? Just pull out this excuse and it’s like a magician’s wand. *Bling* Every trouble just disappeared…

Now, trust me, I am not going to say that life here is not hectic. It truly is, and trust me when I say this, we do rarely get to sleep for more than 4 hours straight. I mean, life here is a so busy that it’s understandable why this excuse caught on so fast and so effectively and why it still remains believable despite the plethora of B-schooler blogs which may tend to hint to some, that we’re all just wastrels who’re whiling away our time and waiting to get paid for doing so…all while doing it on the parents’/ banks’ expense too!!!

I mean, look at it. In the past week, I have gone to the city twelve times (and the “city” is 20 kilometres away from this dump and 20 kilometres is quite a long walk mind you!), watched 12 movies (1 per trip. That’s what makes the walk worthwhile you know), completed “Monopoly” thrice, shot around 200 frames of pool… I mean, I have been so busy that it’s actually been really difficult to find the time to attend classes!!! It’s really tough on a guy when you have to attend classes. First they burden us so heavily with all these activities and then we’re supposed to do classes!!! Unfair, if you ask me…but then, nobody ever does :-(… Ask me, that is…

Well, in any case, while there is a lot more that I could say on the topic of how unfair it is to force us to attend classes - and mind you, the day that I get invited to speak on the proper platform on this topic, I will ensure I rant for at least an hour - I must end this particular rant right here. No, it’s not because this isn’t the right platform…but you see…some work just came up…so I gotta rush. :-)

Happy New Year once again. Party hard. Try not fall asleep before you return to your place the next afternoon. Get smashed. Get stoned. Do whatever you please. Don’t allow those fuddy-duddy “Be careful” types to ruin your evening. But just manage to stay alive to see the morning of the second of January… Till the next year then. Enjoy!


Abhi said...

LoL !

Damn man , you are letting out all the tricks we IIMians got to avoid fat hairy girls and insistent- I am busy right now !

a great year to you man.hope we stay busy the way we are :P

Suhas Anand said...

Hey Happy new year to u mike...hope to meet up sometime tht we wud be back in the big bad world !! (or good as the case be!!)hehe

Vidhi said...

hi mukund! a very happy new year to u!!

Falconmyst said...

HAppy New YeaR!!! Glad to see you still here!!!

Vishy said...

bang on with the busy thing :)

Anil said...

Hah! And what about all the United matches that you religiously follow every weekend ? ;)
You rock! :)