Thursday, April 14, 2005

In Mars We Trust - II

"Hang on a minute will you....just callnig N". I'd just entered his room, so I made myself comfortable while this visibly content and much-in-love friend of mine made his call....

"Hi"....squawk squawk squawk....."yeah but,"....squawk squawk squawk....."yes, you"....squawk squawk squawk....."I was"....squawk squawk squawk....."and then"....squawk squawk squawk....."but you"....squawk squawk squawk....."I only"....squawk squawk squawk....."but list" (click) "en"!!!! "She cut me off! :-("

Hmm....this was the moment where I got to display my sagacity and new-found wisdom of course.."You know K, the problem with you is that you don't LISTEN to her!" "Yeah? But I was.." "There. See? You don't LISTEN!!! You're always trying to talk, to give explanations....you're always trying to SOLVE things! You need to listen to HER!!!" "Yeah! By Satan! You're right! That's what she was just telling me! That I don't listen to her....you know what? I'm going to meet her.....and this time, I'm just going to do what you said. I'll listen!!!"

In retrospect that conversation displayed more of her lung power than anything else, I guess, but at the moment, it had seemed like the right advice for me to give....how was I to know that she would later dump him for being too "unresponsive" and "too occupied otherwise" and "not giving her enough attention"....Jeez! Now, just what do these creatures want????

And then, in my darkest hour, I turned to my very own Diotima (Diotima, for the uninformed is the priestess that Socrates turns to in "Symposium"). "O Most exalted one. O fountain of knowledge, beauty and all other things that women do not exemplify (though you be one yourself), help me. Show me the light, so that I may rise above the mundane!"

Diotima: What do you want, you miserable scum? (No, she didn't use those words, but I don't want to use words that are inappropriate for juvenile audiences)
Me: I want to know three things:
1. What do women want?
2. Why don't we men know anything about what they want?
3. Why on Earth are women so incredibly senseless and gullible?

Diotima: Well, I shall answer your questions in reverse order
3. Women are so senseless and gullibe so that mankind continues to procreate
2. If you think about my answer to the previous question it may throw more light upon this answer, though of course, if you choose to let my words confound you any more, you will find that the innate simplicity of the answer will devour you in it's extremely complex meaning and the light that shines on the dark parts of that miniscule piece of lard that you call your brain will cease to illuminate even the parts that it earlier did...
1. Women do not know what they truly want, but in truth the fact is that they want nothing much more than what you really already know, except for the fact that you having confounded yourself with the previous answer find yourself unable to employ anything other than the model of projection of desire which is essentially flawed in this case because women do not JUST WANT SEX UNLIKE YOU MISERABLE MANIACS!!!!!!

Now that was a particularly and singularly enlightening conversation. Although I must admit that she confounded me more than anything else, I realise that the only reason I am confounded was the profound truth of all that she had said....don't ask me to explain any of what she said (she's a woman after all, and therefore completely incomprehensible for me) but I have always believed that if anything completely confounds you, it is apt to be because it is correct!! After all, how many of us understand a word of Electromagnetics......or even Community Living for that matter????

Well, that put an end to one part of my quest, but up had cropped another question....that of the "projection of desire" thingy that she had spoken of....the problems that my subsequent quest led me to, shall be documented in a later post....

Oh and by the way, for all those of you still not convinced about the depth and truth of the words spoken by women, here's something said to me by a friend yesterday.....24 hours, and I am still no closer to figuring out the meaning, so all you women out there, please do lend me a helping hand....

Me: I'll give you a call then, when I leave and will tell you where to meet...
She: Noooo....I don't feel like going home before coming out....
Me: OK....so you want to go just now?
She: Noooo....don't want to go right now either.....
Me: Err....so then what do you want to do???
She: I don't know...I want to go, but I don't want to go to my place.....but I don't want to go right now either....you tell me what to do....

*Sigh* That's exactly where I gave up.....

2 comments:

I said...

dude...dont break ur head!!! u are not the first person encountering all this...Just chillax...

"Women are so senseless and gullibe so that mankind continues to procreate..."

Girls are different..but not insane/senseless ok...dare not write all this again..

u reminded me of the song from humtum "Yeh ladki kyun na jaane kyun ladkon si nahin hoti"

next post on our community and ur dead ;)

~j~ said...

hmm...didn't know someone already threatened you. lol!

well, one piece of advice from a woman: don't bother trying to figure out women or what they want. instead, as someone once said, "women are like mystery novels... the interest remains as long as the mystery is not solved."

so, just give us this day our daily space :) and thou shalt not regret.