Honey-Flavoured Cyanide

Of all the days that have passed in the last few months, this is one of the toughest I’ve had to spend. I can’t for the life of me figure out just what I should be doing and for some reason, even my usually ultra-reliable laziness is not coming to my rescue to ease my restlessness. Strange when one pauses to think of just how inert (No, not inept, inert) and lazy I am under normal circumstances… Ah well, the trick is to keep breathing…

A much better dawn may await the sleeping,
Than the dusk you hold in your embrace.
But would you see the never-ending sea,
Or choose to live the next man’s Fate?

Don’t lose your way, stand still at the fork,
I’ll rescue your faith as I’ve done before,
Try not to fail as you try no more,
Nobody suffered in oblivion

Stand still and cry or walk and smile,
For a little while, leave the fear behind,
For each one that tried, a million died,
Fame is naught, but what of pride?

It wasn’t the day, but the mind of yore,
When you spoke again of the holding of more
For each step you ponder in your mind,
Hark back to when the past left you behind

If that was you, what would I be?
Or would you perhaps light it up for me?
A million flames now lick the sky,
Where a moment before the last spark did die

A wall behind but that’s still the way,
I can’t go on, for I’m not there,
Of those that are, not a word I say,
For maybe tomorrow, myself I’ll betray

Help Me Roll Away the Stone

There can’t be anything that is less gratifying to a person like me than seeing people not err and trip up over their own shoelaces once in a while. The dear SD Sharma (then President) proved himself incredibly astute in gauging the desires of the adoring and expectant masses and did not disappoint on that count – obliging all of us by very nicely falling over at the Republic Day Parade while trying to wear his slippers. *Sigh* I think we can safely refer to those as the good old days.

Yeah, well, things move on and sadly cameramen these days are far more astute, but I quite frankly think that this is only half the problem. The bigger problem for the adoring and ever-willing-to-be-entertained masses – me obviously being a part of this category – is that the protagonists of these situations have grown even smarter than the cameramen and editors.

In today’s era of smart thinking, quick action and infallible logic, there could never arise a situation like the SDS one I mentioned above. If Sonia Gandi happened to trip over Sheild D’s backside, you’d hardly be able to see the photograph on the front page of the next day’s ToI. Sure, the cameraman may have captured it and the editor may even be allowed to bung it in and publish it, but circulation and viewing of the paper would be banned.

Indian Express of course would also be banned as their not carrying the picture would not by any means be a guarantee that they didn’t perhaps have some other anti-national stuff – like an article detailing how FIFA has handed Zidane a 3-match ban (It’s true, they have. Wonder what they thought retirement means, but still…) or how the editor believes that women’s education is a must for the way forward.

DNA and Hindu would not be banned of course, since the circulation of these two would be regarded as being too low for them to be considered as threats to national unity and homeland security. Oh well, too bad if you don’t subscribe to those because changing newspaper brands would need you to buy back-dated copies of your new choice from their date of beginning circulation…except of course that access to these back-dated copies would also be banned…

Yes, life-forms around me these days seem so logical and intelligent! The poor Doctor declared with complete faith that India would win the “War on terrorism” as he called it and then fired his first salvo already, by getting the G-8 to condemn the attacks in Bombay. The effect was shattering to the enemy, as in a departure from normal, the G-8 leaders actually condemned terrorism for a change and told him that India had been a very responsible child. As a result, they rewarded Doctor by telling him he was doing a sterling job and that India was headed in the right direction.

If there were any terrorists who did not renounce their paths due to this, they are surely going to be forced into giving up terrorism forever and be forced to live a mundane life after Doctor Singh fired his bonus weapons. I mean, really, with blogs blocked, we really have them on the run! They’ll never know who is to bomb what, nor when to call up the Mastermind blogger whose comment book too will obviously be inaccessible…

Having got them on the run – if not shivering in some jail cell post-surrender – Doctor is now going to let loose the biggest Indian weapon of them all – peace talks with the General. If I were a terrorist I would really prefer being in Lebanon at this moment…really…after all, who wouldn’t prefer the much safer atmosphere there, with friendly air-drops and the palsy-walsy country across the border? That nice Hezbollah there would ensure that I didn’t ever have to figure in peace talks et al…sheer bliss and lifelong safety and security for my family…

Bombs away then...

A Big F*ck You To Peace (Alternative - Of Terrorism and Impotency)

The cleaner version of the post below...altered and edited for family reading...

"We make no distinction between those who comitted these acts of terrorism and those who harbour them"

"In this war, there are only two sides. With us or with them"

Statements made by GW Bush after 9/11.

If only India had even a shred of pride, a response would be given. To date, not one person has been even convicted in the 1993 blasts case. Pakistan continues to be a target for "friendship".

To date, India has yet to mount even a single pro-active campaign against the bases of any single terrorist organisation, barring the terrorism in Punjab.

To date, India has yet to even label Pakistan as an antagonistic nation.

India continues to spend hundreds of crores, nay, make that thousands of crores, every year on defense expenditure. Most seems to go towards the last rites of the soldiers killed by terrorists whom they are not allowed to shoot.

To date, India has yet to display even once that she has the steel and resolve to respond appropiately to any act of aggression on her citizens.

To date, India has yet to inspire even an ounce of fear in any terrorist.

India is the softest of soft targets. It is similar to the scenario where a man rapes your sister, stabs your brother, shoots your father and strips your mother and you call him a brother and try to embrace him. Every day Indians are killed, women are raped and the country is stripped and shamed and every day we make overtures of friendship to the perpetrators.

Sad to say, it is perhaps time that we made it official that Gandhi is not the idol after all. He was a violent man. He turned his other cheek to a slap. We don't believe in such harsh acts. We turn around, take our pants off and bend over before the slap is delivered...except that it is much more than a slap.

How much longer are we to tolerate being shafted? How much longer do we praise the 'resilience' of the Indian people? It's not resilience, it's apathy and numbness. We no longer seem to feel the anger. Instead we continue as if it were just a daily occurence. The way things are going, it may soon become a part of daily life.

Perhaps I am a nationalist. Is that bad? Is it bad to love your country? Is it a heinous crime? Every time an American citizen is taken hostage, the entire nation unites and demands that justice be served and the offenders punished fast and in ruthlessly.

Every time an Indian is killed, we...well...we don't even realise it. Pride? We have none. Post 9/11, say what you will, no act of terror has been comitted on American soil, despite a stream of statements and commands from the snake in the hole, Osama. The war on Afghanistan was a failure? Err...I think it accomplished what it set out to do.

Every act of terrorism is a sort of call to the nation that suffers it, to rise up in arms and stamp out the perpetrators. As long as that is not done, the offender continues to gain strength and spirit.

America showed that even destroying an entire country was not beyond her, if she was attacked. India showed that even self-destruction is not beyond her in her quest for being seen as a 'resilient' and 'peace-loving' nation. Take your pick of which you would rather be. Personally, I'd prefer being alive...and only one of these paths can get one there.


Dawood Ibrahim - In Pakistan
Memons - In Pakistan
Masood Azhar - In Pakistan

The list continues. Yet, of course, Pakistan is a friend! "India must resolve the real issues" was the response of the Paki Foreign Minister to the blasts. For once, I think he is right. India must finally get off her backside and resolve the real issue. And the real issue seems obvious to me...

When a weed is to be exterminated, one strikes at the roots. Perhaps therein lies the clue. It's not as if anyone in this country is blind to the truth. Yet what is vexing is that for the most part, people are now accustomed to shutting their eyes to the obvious...someday the pain will hit close to home...what a tragedy that perhaps the day they join the fight will perhaps be the day that they'll have lost what they're fighting for...

A Big F*ck You To Peace

The post below is not hot-headed. It is written in cold blood. Something has snapped within me and I’ve had enough. If you’re offended by the post or if you don’t agree with any aspect of it, don’t try debating with me because I won’t bother listening to you.

So Mumbai has suffered yet another terrorist attack and we sit by and praise the resilience of the citizens of the great city. People shower praise on the “Spirit of Mumbai” and politicians praise the people for helping those affected in this, the hour of extreme need. Yet I, and I am sure I am not alone, can’t help but feel disgusted by this attitude.

Since 1993, Mumbai has suffered six major terrorist attacks. Websites publish articles on the 5 must-dos and list making of the will etc as the imperatives. Is this all that we can do? Have we no balls? No self-respect? No pride? Are we to accept terrorism as a part of daily life?

The Home Minister of India said he was clueless and would talk to Soniaji about it. The PM said he was surveying the situation, had beefed up security in Delhi, put several areas on high alert and was scheduled to meet…yes…Soniaji. Who is that fucking bitch anyway? The c*** holds no position of any authority and is a damned nobody. In this hour, why is that c*** the one being consulted? What does she know about the situation anyway?

Yet, let me not diverge from the point I was getting at. When George W Bush addressed the US of A in a state of the nation address after the 9/11 attacks, he made a statement that is etched in my memory. “We make no distinction between the terrorists who committed these acts and those who harbour them”. I became a fan of the man who wrote that line as well as the ideology behind it.

When Parliament was attacked, I awaited similar steel from the Indian Government. It started off all right, but then fizzled out. Then there were serial blasts in Mumbai and once again I awaited a show of pride. Now, there have been serial blasts yet again in Mumbai and all I feel is despair. Is this what we are? A nation of impotent peaceniks with no pride who are just waiting to be hit by terrorists whom we would rather call ‘militants’ lest we offend them or their masters?

I for one can not understand the national psyche of India and Indians. Let’s see now. Dawood Ibrahim? In Pakistan. The Memon brothers? In Pakistan. Masood Azhar? In Pakistan. Terrorist training camps? In Pakistan. So, what should we do? Umm, have confidence-building measures with the country and try enhancing trade with them. Love them and say that they are great, friendly people. Yeah, makes sense. Fuck you too.

I hate Pakistan. Want more? I think every single Pakistani without exception should be exterminated in a war that would put to shame the WW2 casualties. I also think the ungrateful extremist bastards in Bangladesh should be annihilated for the role that they now have and their al-Q links. Want still more? I think I am being nice. Personally, I’d like to torture the miserable bastards to a slow death over a week’s period…

I also think that India should stop all defence expenditure if we are not going to follow the course of action I described above. We have an impressive array of arms and weapons, not to mention missiles, tanks, aircraft etc. Yet, if we are never going to use them, why spend on them at all? Deterrent? Excuse me, but it kind of works as I will outline blow:

Someone comes up to you and taunts you. You don’t react. Then the person taunts and insults your race, religion and family. You still stay impassive. Then the person slaps your parents. You try to make friends with the chap. Then that guy rapes your sister, stabs your father, shoots your brother and strips your mother. You try to embrace him and call him your brother. If that is what a person is like, then I think you’d agree that any money this person spends on a gym or buying a revolver is kind of a waste?

Now, while that example may seem extreme, it is exactly what has happened with India. People are killed, women are raped and the country is stripped of its pride in each of these attacks and yet we respond just like the loser in that example. Makes sense now?

I know that people are going to talk about how war is senseless and never resolves anything. All I can say is that this is untrue. If a war is fought and seen through to its end, it works. Look at WW2. And let’s also acknowledge one fact. At times, war is the only solution. How does one deal with those harbouring terrorists? If someone can outline a plan that will work, I’ll gladly tear it apart. Want an example? Look at that disastrous attempt that was made by the previous government in Kashmir, when they declared a ‘unilateral ceasefire’. Huh? Why wasn’t I surprised at what followed? Terrorists want nothing less than to own you. Where is the middle ground then? They are extremists and the only way to deal with an extremist is in extremes!!!

They are governed by no laws and make a mockery of the ones that govern us. Murder, for them is the aim. Will they ever be satisfied? No! Their existence is based on finishing ours. In that case, for me, it is damned simple. Better me than them.

I think it’s time to say that enough is enough. We’ve lain down far too long now. We’ve taken all the shit we could and now its time to kick some terrorist butt. Bomb them, nuke them, torture them, but kill at any cost. They deserve no mercy. Balls to bloody human rights. That’s a topic I will address later though.

How much longer will we continue to just talk about resilience and spirit? Is that what life is about? Ask those dead. Ask their families. Resilience? The biggest example of resilience is that fact that India survives as a nation despite the impotent whores who govern her. I don’t think India is a strong nation. I think India is among the weakest nation in the world and if we fail to respond even now, we will have proved it.

Why is terrorism on the rise in India? Simple. Because by reacting the way India does, India has convinced every terrorist that come what may, we shall not take any action. We do not believe in it. The collective psyche of India is: “Slap me and I won’t turn the other cheek. I’ll turn around, take my pants off and bend over”.

And yes, if you don’t agree with me, I don’t accept your opinion. I think you’re a loser whose self-respect is nil. I think you’re an impotent loser who will never be respected by those around you. I also think you’re anti-national. To borrow a quote from George Bush (much though I dislike the man, he has a brilliant speech-writer), “In this situation, if you’re not on our side, you’re on their side”. After 20 years of seeing impotent bystander reactions and the results, I for one think you’re a lunatic if you still can’t see sense.

With Finality Begins Eternity

Why try to look beyind when you can't see a few feet ahead? Does the mind ever tarry a moment to ponder over the beauty of a life that lacks nothing but a life? Maybe it's only a kind of fear, but there are moments when the endless ocean seems to hold less secrets than a body shorn of all covers but one...

They want to be somebody and then blame me,
For every time they tried and fell,
And every bruise of which they don't tell,
For every smile they faked and then hid,
For every time they tried to themselves forbid,
And when they looked and saw the time,
Realising the years that had passed behind,
But then it was all just an accident

The spirit rose but the wick had burnt out,
When you're afire, would you lie back and sigh?
But of the promise that I had held out,
They betook only the part of which I lied,
Where they sought, they found it all,
Yet what can you find when you're blind?
If truth be told, they'd sooner I die,
But they linger in hatred and hilarity

When the dark is made of pure light,
Take a leap lest you open the eye,
For it was never meant to be the way you see,
I'm hiding lest you get me in your sights
They seek a Grail they'll never find,
And stand tall where great men crawl,
The everlasting irony,
Will haunt the one that glances down

Await the day you dig my grave,
Await the day you carry me away,
Maybe I was just that hateful slave,
And maybe I was the gift you gave away,
Wanted not but wasted still,
A mind so full it saw in life peril,
Take it to the one that haunts my dreams,
Forsake the pain and rest six foot deep

It burnt, it pained and singed the hair,
Yet the parting never was betrayed,
Could a ditch ever take me full,
Or would it be the dance floor?
The music plays and tears them apart,
The words will swirl for Eternity,
When facing the lie no one could ever buy,
Every joy will rest on mourning

Still the one remains apart,
Twisting away from the feeble tries,
They encircle and raise victorious cries,
Before finding once more a denial,
That caresses a self lost in another,
Yet that last ember it can’t find or kill,
But when die is cast and Fate unfulfilled,
The toil still never will be uphill

To find a peak let’s go rushing down,
Leave the guide behind and seek what I hide,
When hands that laid the peace to rest,
Rise to exhort another pause in life
Hallowed is what lies beneath,
A tear unstained, unfelt, unseen,
Just as they seek the liar’s dream,
Of what I speak you’ll never feel

To Be True Is To Lie...

Why do you take that ‘breather’ of yours every five minutes?
I like it. I like having those few minutes to just relax a bit and think of things other than work.
Do you realize how much time you end up wasting every day because of that? Try cutting that out. It reduces productivity and disrupts concentration.
I don’t think it is a waste of time and quite frankly, I couldn’t care less about what you call ‘productivity and yeah, lest I forget, my concentration span is less than 20 minutes anyway. And please stop nagging me about work. I don’t like it. I work because I have to, so stop trying to ‘motivate’ me already!
Don’t you have any pride? Don’t you feel like you should fulfill your potential and do something worthwhile?
Refer above for the first bit and as for the second, trust me, you don’t want to know what I call worthwhile…

You are capable of being so sociable at times! Why can’t you always be like that?
Perhaps the temporal aspect is less relevant in the ‘at times’ which may have more to do with the recipients of the afore-mentioned behaviour.
You know that is not true, so stop fibbing.
Untrue? Perhaps it is, come to think of it, when you say that from a solely grammatical and syntactical perspective, but what about the circumstances that surround such instances? Call it choice or whatever you will, but there is always an environment.
That would be hypocrisy, wouldn’t it? And let’s face it, what I say is also true of purely social interactions.
Some people deserve better and some worse. As for hypocrisy, once again I suppose that depends on perspective and the priority one gives to one’s various priorities…

Why don’t you learn from your errors and just take the plunge for once in your life?
And on the same note, why don’t I try wearing a toga to work tomorrow?
Stop being the clown and think seriously about what I am saying. Time and conviction has cost you so dearly in the past. As they say, ‘Better to bend than be broken’.
Try telling that to an oak tree.
Then stop trying to be an oak tree and learn from a willow.
Then again, perhaps you would appreciate the toga, huh?
Talking sense to you is like trying to break a brick wall with one’s head!
Would you like that toga red or black? Oh and yeah, experience tells me that a lie is generally more flexible…

It’s time you started loving yourself. Nobody can love anyone or anything, unless he or she loves his or her self first!
Yeah, Narcissus was such a great example of that. Ever wondered why the vain are so alone?
It’s got nothing to do with vanity. Everything does not exist only in extremes, you know.
True and yes, I do know that, but could you please enlighten me on that illuminating opening comment? Somehow, the more I contemplate the subject, the less coherent your remark seems to be.
Well, it’s simple. A person who feels inadequate would be so consumed in his own perceived shortcoming that they would engulf his being and become at least a pseudo-reality.
Perhaps a good read on the difference between confidence and vanity is in order for you. Oh and of course, a refresher course on verbosity would suit you well too.

It’s funny in a way when I think about how tragic and melancholy your existence is. It’s funny because it’s the melancholy that makes it tragic.
How do you know it’s melancholy? Maybe it’s not melancholy, but just the way the entire scheme of things pans out. Perhaps you aren’t able to see the other side and while the road there may seem one way, the destination may be the exact opposite. As may the road itself to the traveler…
Err…life’s a journey, not a destination.
Stop giving me clichés. And as far as that crack is concerned, who spoke about life being a destination? It may be a journey, it may be a road, but remember that both those have destinations too.
That’s the point, isn’t it? This is life. It’s not about destinations. Life is to be enjoyed. To be lived! It’s not a trip to a certain point!
And if that is so, then what is death? What is life itself for that matter? Is it really just that interlude that is defined as the span of time between a ‘birth’ and a ‘death’? Or is there more to it than that? Is that ‘birth’ in itself a small part of a larger continuum? What is sleep? Why does one remember things otherwise but not when one sleeps? What is…
*Sigh* There you go again… And perhaps that answers my question more than any other answer you could ever give me…
Or perhaps your question itself has now become an answer…or my answers could have become your question…

Fever...and it's B&W (like the ball)...not Yellow ;-)

Have just finished watching the 3rd place match of the World Cup and just felt like making a post about that. I love football and I think it would be a crime if I let this occasion pass. Coming into the WC, I was open in my support for the Dutch, Germans and Portuguese in that order. As it happened, things did not quite work out, but hey, that happens. Here’s my take though.

This edition, more than any other that I have seen though, seemed to have a lot to do with the managers, rather than individual players. In most tournaments, you have a particular team that is excellent in terms of work-rate or more importantly and more commonly, a fantastic player who makes the difference. This time though, it was the managers who came to the fore and determined what happened to the teams…

1. Holland: My pre-tournament favourites. They had been playing breath-taking football and were on a real roll. And then, it all fell apart in that match against Portugal. The main reason I support Holland is Marco van Basten. I am convinced that he is the greatest footballer the world has ever seen and given the way he started shaping his squad, I felt he was headed for the moon. His aim, first and foremost, was to create a squad that would not squabble and would be united.

Ironic then, that this was exactly the point where he himself failed. In the match against Portugal, Holland created chance after chance only to see each one wasted. Yet, van Basten did not bring on Ruud van Nistelrooy, who is arguably the best finisher in Europe…at least one of the top 3. Why? Well, if rumours and statements are to be believed, it was an ego issue. How typical… I hope they get over it, for this team is certainly one to watch out for in the future. Young, dynamic…and all they need is a striker who converts chances and a manager who plays him…

2. Germany: For some reason, I have always liked German sportspersons, be it Becker, Graf, Michael Schumacher or Klinsmann, Mattheus,Ballack and Schweinsteiger. Before the tournament therefore, despite what people were saying, I backed the Germans to do well. I believed that with a striker of Klinsmann’s quality in charge, they would definitely do well and make a mark an quite frankly, they did not disappoint.

The Germans forsook their normal defensivce style and took on a more scoring-oriented approach and it paid off! They were entertaining and took their opponents by surprise and got far further than they were expected to! I am extremely glad they took third place at least for they really did deserve reward for their attacking approach in a competition that has seen teams adopt a predominantly defensive approach. The error that they made? Well, why on Earth was Schweinsteiger on the bench for the semi???

3. Argentina: Well before the tournament began, it was apparent that the Albicieste had the best squad in terms of talent as well as depth, but that they had a manager who could easily waste all of that and more! And that is exactly what happened. What more need I say than the fact that against a German team that was bent on equalising and had the crowd behind it, Pekerman substituted all the attacking players with defensive ones, with more than 15 mintues to go and Lionel Messi and Saviola did not get a look-in in that match. Sad but true. The most talented and perhaps best overall group of players left empty-handed thanks to a terrible, terrible manager.

4. Brazil: Parreira really didn’t have a clue or a plan, did he? He seemed to be praying that the individual brilliance of his players would see him through and it may have done too! But what was Ronaldo doing on the pitch…with that paunch of his…while Robinho was on the bench? And pray, just why is Roberto Carlos thought of highly? That goal in the quarter summed it up for me. He is useless as a defender…

5. France: Pure luck and screw-ups by the opposition. No skill whatsoever. No talent whatsoever. Barring Zidane in that one game against Brazil that is. With a simian as a striker, what more can one expect?

6. Italy: Great, great squad. I remembering a friend of mine before the WC started that this time around, Italy had the best squad they had had in years, yet they were under-rated (partly due to the scandal) and expectd to flop. They started badly, but have really picked up. Once again though, and I say this before the final, they may yet regret the manager’s decision to play Toni as lone striker. They have a formidable array of strikers with Gilardino and Inzaghi, not to mention Iaquinta, on the bench…yet Toni, who has been disappointing, seems to retain Lippi’s faith. I hope he can pay it back..or that Lippi sunbs him early 

7. Portugal: If it was not for Figo and Ronaldo, I would say that this team was a bunch of very ordinary players. But they are not… The sad part? The manager, the universally acclaimed Scolari, was unable to see something that everyone else seemed to see. When you are trailing, it makes no sense to play a lone striker!!! Specially when that striker is a Pauleta… Still, they will learn and in Ronaldo, they have a world-beater.

Overall, I hope Italy thrash the living daylights out of the French tomorrow. I hate Italy normally, but simians like Monkeyface Henry, who do not know how to play football, do not deserve to touch that trophy and hence I am backing Italy which clearly is the better team. Yet, given the record of my favourites over the past two years, you can rest assured that France will nick it . If that happens though, I will really start believing that the entire WC is a farce and a rigged competition…something like WWE wrestling…

Already the Golden Ball nominees have made me believe that there is massive corruption that riddles FIFA from within…and if France win, there will be no further doubt about that…