Friday, November 04, 2005

When the Nightmare Becomes a Reality...

“You know the sleeping feel no more pain,
And the living are scarred”

Immortal words by Dave Mustaine and there aren’t words that have come closer to expressing what recent events have taught me. Personal as it may be, I guess everyone passes through a day when the Eternal truth of Life hits one in the face and there’s no running away… Every person ever born has always known what will come to pass; for ourselves as well as all those around us…

“Hullo? Is everything sorted out?”
”We…we found out…it’s…it’s…”

Some way to celebrate a Diwali…

“I…I don’t know what to say…Guess it’s hardest for you, but I just wanted to say something and can’t think of a word”
”Yeah…Oh well… I think we’re… well… Let’s… let’s talk later…”

Some things just can’t be said. I hope you got what I needed to express. Wasn’t that the way it’s always been?

“Dude, you’re driving like it’s a freaking bullock-cart.”
“Don’t want to endanger someone else’s life man…”
“Danger? I laugh in the face of danger. Ha…ha…ha…”
“It wouldn’t be our lives man… Wouldn’t be concerned about those anyway, would I?”

Some things are just ironic… But one thing has changed forever today…

“It’s been seven years, hasn’t it? Weird when you think about it.”
“Yeah… I guess what will be even more weird is seeing each other again. Hardly know what to expect… Will it be the same face I remember? Do I remember? Damn! Wonder what the face will look like…”

You were right. Really had no idea…

“Dude, if I ever record a song, I want it to be all of us together…”
“Yeah… would rock, wouldn’t it? Or maybe if we can’t do that, each of us can do a dedication to someone else. I mean, it may turn out that we can’t do it together right? Who knows where we land up man?

I will… Someday… I know not when that will be, but someday…

“Dude, my flight just landed. You still in Bombay?”
“Err…sort of…as in, not quite in Bombay, but still very much in Bombay
“Can you please be a bit less incoherent? Hope you’re sober man…”
“Relax! What I meant was that I am in the departure terminal dude. Just gone through Security Check.”
“Dude, chuck the flight. It’s been so long. Go tomorrow!!!”
“Would have man…really would have loved to be able to do that. But can’t. I’m only getting 2 days in Delhi with her and really can’t afford to pass on those… But I’ll be down again sometime soon…”

Guess some things just aren’t mean to happen… Face them…move on…

“Dude, let’s also do something light this time… As in, you know, something thrash without the darkness…”
“Yeah, the thought crossed my mind too; but for some reason, the words just don’t come out that way. And hey, metal’s not about joy you know. It’s about hitting people with what hurts the most…with the truth!!!”
“Fair enough. But this stuff is just about death, death and death. Can’t we have something a bit more about LIFE the way we see it? Go as deep as you like. be as dark about it as you like. But keep death out of it...at least for one of the tracks.”
“Umm…come on…most people can face life. It’s death they can’t…”
“Don’t know about that… I think when it comes to death; it’s more when it happens around that it’s tough. Anyway, I guess it’s up to you…you’re the writer after all..”

I still wonder about that…I really do…

“Whoa! Didn’t realise it was this late…”
“Yeah, me neither. Amazing how time can fly when you’re so deep in conversation…”
“Hmmm… But I wonder if that’s more puzzling or if the number of words we speak is…”
“Words. Who cares about them man? They’re a poor substitute for thoughts anyway”

But they’re all I have left…

“Awesome!!! Congrats dude!!! When?”
“End-November, all things going well. Will be there around October-end.”

Why did you qualify that? Guess I’ll never know. Guess it’s like everything else about everything that ever passed between us…

“Thanks for that time dude. Don’t know what I’d have done if you’d not been there…”
“Bullcrap man…You’d have come through it anyway. I know you way too well. Strength never flows from another. It’s always within. You make yourself the man you are. The rest are just incidental…”

Thanks… Small word perhaps, but there’s only so much I can say…

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

u know...when i first read 'do not go gently into that good night...
rage, rage against the dying of the light'...i didn't agree with it...
well..guess i was reading it at a time when i wasn't feeling too great...
but death is really a nothingness...the only reason to fear it is fearing how people who love u can go on...ah..too serious for a saturday morn...
was too 'crushed' yest to check ur blog...that was what u meant by the jenn ann post huh?
well...wrt ur prev post...
what in heaven's name is wrong with u??
(ok..that sounds classic granny like but i'm just a bit jaded)..
anyway...u r pretty much ensuring that the only time u'll get laid is when u r officially 'laid' to rest!...well..ok..here goes...
Tip No. 3: never ever mention to any girl...no, not even Category 3... that u hate babies...coz...inside every girl lies a simian grandmother...who shows up...yes, maybe even for a fleeting second in an entire lifetime...nevertheless, shows up...n wants it for business not pleasure take a look at teh animal kingdom...all the females do it to save tehir species..wonder if there r any asexual animals...who go like...ok, this season i don't want it...soem strange thought has come to my mind...like all studies, including feminism, i'm so certain it was a male who charted out the initial 'theories' of natural history (NO..don't attribute it to IQ but a lot of other boring historical, sociological, biological, mental, whatever details i'm not in a mood to dicuss...never am)....anyway...teh reason being, they say 'animals hv mating period'...
frankly, if it were a woman who had to make some initial theory she would've stressed on 'animals hv a non-mating perioid'...i mean...who likes business?? u always stress on the fun part of things right?..ah!...some other time

ps 1--VA is a total goner...he's off this weekend doing some female stuff which i shudder to think abt

ps 2--yeah...i too don't understand crushes n all that jazz...it's just plain atrraction to me...n i really don't 'euphemise' it by calling it a crush

ps 3--life just goes on..n i don't know if the meeting u mntioned was literal or not...gr8...now i can't find that in the post...anyway...u know that, it's what u carry with u abt him...we all live on memories after all

ps 4--this is the mike that i like...not the fun mike who does ppl :)

Susie

K said...

Muks,

He knew u better than anybody else i guess... he was right... U ARE stronger than u believe urself to be... in times of doubt remember that...

love,

K

red said...

hi JB:)kaise ho?

Darth Midnightmare said...

@Susie: I don't think death is a nothingness. It's a continuation of perpertuity with a veil hiding everything beyond that point. We explain our ignorance in many ways...nothingness or eternity are just two of them...

@K: Yes, he did know me best... As for strength, I guess one never really knows until faced with it all...

@Red: Am ok... How are you? :-)