The Future is My Past - IV

Today, I extinguished a fire. Or perhaps all I have done is stoke the flame for one last time, to see it leap and rise to lick the skies one last time before an ember is all that slowly flickers and then fades into the night... On a different note, today will see me attend my last ever day of classroom education in a residential college...at least, that is the way the plan seems, although judging by the way things have been before, I could perhaps be further from the truth than I have ever been before... Here I am then...unedited and uncut...

Far behind this curtain call,
In a place that I never saw before,
My waking dream merges into a part of folklore,
That these children will dance to,
While an eye bleeds and sees,
The tearing of me that desire wrought,
Perhaps the bending of a rule,
Was all that cheating life was about

Forever hidden away in the lap of death,
The secret of a life eternal,
But how could I consider leaving behind,
That without which no man could ever climb,
The stairs seem too high,
My foot withdrew before I started,
But when the maze of lies is the only truth,
Which reality do I deny?

If from above I could see me,
Would it still seem to be a lake of fire,
Or in the test each of us take,
Will it be the moment they lift my wake?
For sombre though the day may seem,
It’s not serenity I seek in me,
Nor was it on placid seas,
That maelstroms chose to forget the meek

Darkness that we strove to find,
With torches lit and flames unashamed,
But of what I left behind,
That last vestige is what today I blame,
Drag it under, kill it now,
Or stay where dead memories belong,
Or walk on by and light the way,
To where on me, eyes I shall lay

Today we run under sheltered sky,
The same which every attempt at flight denies,
But that which I seek far and wide,
In the darkest dungeon I’ve left behind,
Still the years will roll on by,
Raising hopes, provoking sighs,
For the curtains I part when I die,
Close as the newborn opens his eyes…