Sunday, November 21, 2004

Clutching At The Winds To Control My Destiny

Do we really control anything at all? We get things into our lives ourselves, or so we think. We adapt ourselves to keep what we think we want. And then can't keep up any more. The more we attempt to control our emotions the further they carry us away from the direction we are straining in. And then they interfere with the very values we hold dearest. What do you do then? The choice is one that I would want to make. Nor one that I could ever advise someone on. After all, how does one decide whether it is better to kill one's dreams or kill one's self. The two seem so inextricably entwined. Yet, try we must, to choose one over the other. After all, one cannot be lord and master of a house with two owners. Control or emotion? Could they ever go together? And though it seems so abstract, each one of us faces this at some time or the other. There are no easy answers......and no common answer either.

Floating within, trying hard to grasp,
Fingers clawing wildly for walls they can't find,
A mind trying hard to control a life,
Whose complexity a stranger tries to deny,
Tranquil shattered by hands I invited inside,
Now twisting my thoughts to bring blinded cry,
Is all that I see through the beholder's eye,
Coloured to make a cloak and lose me in time

Once alive, flying free, nothing ever denied,
Now constraints that I feel tear my frail being,
But could I ever break free from the bars,
That I made dreaming of bliss never seen,
Torn between the sky and the fear to fly,
A silent man seeks solace in arms opened wide,
But will they be yours, sweet friend of mine,
Or do I return to the cell I once left behind

Did you believe that it was me you saw,
Or just a crazy dream that you took for a metaphor,
A man of clay, just a toy that you gave,
A shape that forever your mind's desires craved,
But your world I had once forsaken and run,
For a world whose truth you now can't see,
Though at the time you seemed so true and so free,
Would you now hold that hand or divide Destiny

Meltdown threatening now, staring me in the face,
Why does it seem as if the winds whisper your name,
The way things go driving to the edge and back,
More complexities unearthed in what was so simple to start,
When letting go is not a course on my chart,
Would the tides of time heal or open a chasm,
Would the waters cause to drift or hold together,
The raft of lives and free Fate I dreamt of at the start

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