Am I really a stranger to myself? Do I know where I stop and me begins? Ultimately, I guess I don't. Everyone has multiple personalities. But do we really have control over what we are and what we want to have others believe? After all, am I a depressive? An insecure mass of nerves terrified of my shortcomings? Or am I a really confidfent person who's often seen as arrogant? Am I real? What part of me is?
Each one of us has an idea of what we are...WHO we are. Sometimes we are right. Most of the time, we are wrong. Yet we fix an idea in our mind of who we want to be and convince ourselves that this is what we indeed are. That's our first step to self-destruction. Then we work at living up to that image. So whom do we deceive? The world or ourselves? And does it help us in achieving any objective in life? Ultimately, it ends up destroying our own potential I guess. You can see it everywhere. First up, you see it in relationships...
First you look for a girl (or a guy) to "love". Then you decide what sort of person that girl would "love". Then you try to convince yourself that you are like that. You also try to live up to this persona you have created with that girl. You try to convince her you are this person X. If you succeed in your attempts at wooing her, you continue being that person X for her. Then the veneer begins to wear off. After all, how long can you be someone you are not? Even if you yourself believe you are that person. The cracks begin to show. The end begins. Only for the entire cycle to be repeated. I have seen this phenomenon occuring with almost all my friends. Yet, none of them ever seems to learn. Nor do they seem to realise where the problem essentially lies. It's much easier attributing everything to "Fate". "It wasn't meant to be with her".....
Next post on Fate vs choice. :-) Adios...
4 comments:
Your write up on the self-identity theme started off well and had a bit of something that everyone is concerned about at some poitn of time in their live (or should be). but the example you chose, of the mechanics of love (the way you see it), poured water over the start. the impression made is of some adolescent suddenly realizing the immense questions hovering over all our head merely because he had to be defeated/succesful after 'planning' a love affair. whats the purpose of your post - to raise a serious question about ego, or to give vent to your frustrations in a more mature, pseudo-philosophical way?
M: I'm afraid that i agree with Kraz on this. Forget love - in life, people often try to convince themselves that they are more idealistic, more admirable, more lovable etc etc than they really are! Self-deception is a disease that is nothing short of an epidemic! You could even say that this is inevitable. The way most people seem to lead their lives, one wonders how they can go on living if it weren't for self-deception.
ubergeek, the
Interesting blog :) Yes, I've seen the 'morphing into someone i'm not to find love' syndrome often enough. It's just a means to fool yourself and befuddle the person you're trying to impress. I just don't think it can work. Wonder why ppl still do it though ?
Is it so difficult to be single and keep yourself happy ? Are we such unhappy ppl that we need to twist ourselves into pretzels just to be with someone ? If yes, wouldn't that also mean that you're not going to bring happiness and sunshine into another person's life ?!
There's a wonderful poem by Richard Brautigan called 'It's Raining In Love'. Check it out :)
x
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