What though is it like at the time that one does not really have any facts on which to base one’s opinions? However rational one may be – and I certainly like to delude myself with illusions of my own ‘rationality’ – there are always certain notions one holds; certain ideas that are created and that reside solely in the realms of our own selves and that really have nothing more to them than the mind.
What of these notions, the possibility of attainment or existence of which, one can never really be sure? Time, of course, as is its wont, eventually rears its head and reveals all on most occasions. The aftermath of this is something that I would rather not dwell on at the moment, as that would possibly take up a few more reams of paper (ok, e-paper ;-) ), but the period spent in that state of animated suspension is in itself quite an experience.
The highs that accompany the conviction of being right as well as the lows of fearing the seemingly inevitable; the hilarity of watching the optimists who envision the details and the despair of not knowing just what even the attainment may be like. All of these seem to roll into one at times and at other times, each can provide an agony or conversely an ecstasy that is not quite matched by the real.
Even more confusing are some of the random events and situations that confront one from time to time; each offering the hope of fulfillment and yet each creating the risk of losing something that one never really had, but something that is perhaps dearer than anything one does. After all, a vision is never the easiest to give up on…and yet, how can one be said to possess it?
But visions are a must if one is to achieve true exhilaration. After all, how could one exult the same way in winning an objective and concrete reality when compared with achieving something that may so easily have remained just a figment of a mortal brain’s limited and poor imagination? Some things just so completely exceed words…
