There can’t be anything that is less gratifying to a person like me than seeing people not err and trip up over their own shoelaces once in a while. The dear SD Sharma (then President) proved himself incredibly astute in gauging the desires of the adoring and expectant masses and did not disappoint on that count – obliging all of us by very nicely falling over at the Republic Day Parade while trying to wear his slippers. *Sigh* I think we can safely refer to those as the good old days.
Yeah, well, things move on and sadly cameramen these days are far more astute, but I quite frankly think that this is only half the problem. The bigger problem for the adoring and ever-willing-to-be-entertained masses – me obviously being a part of this category – is that the protagonists of these situations have grown even smarter than the cameramen and editors.
In today’s era of smart thinking, quick action and infallible logic, there could never arise a situation like the SDS one I mentioned above. If Sonia Gandi happened to trip over Sheild D’s backside, you’d hardly be able to see the photograph on the front page of the next day’s ToI. Sure, the cameraman may have captured it and the editor may even be allowed to bung it in and publish it, but circulation and viewing of the paper would be banned.
Indian Express of course would also be banned as their not carrying the picture would not by any means be a guarantee that they didn’t perhaps have some other anti-national stuff – like an article detailing how FIFA has handed Zidane a 3-match ban (It’s true, they have. Wonder what they thought retirement means, but still…) or how the editor believes that women’s education is a must for the way forward.
DNA and Hindu would not be banned of course, since the circulation of these two would be regarded as being too low for them to be considered as threats to national unity and homeland security. Oh well, too bad if you don’t subscribe to those because changing newspaper brands would need you to buy back-dated copies of your new choice from their date of beginning circulation…except of course that access to these back-dated copies would also be banned…
Yes, life-forms around me these days seem so logical and intelligent! The poor Doctor declared with complete faith that India would win the “War on terrorism” as he called it and then fired his first salvo already, by getting the G-8 to condemn the attacks in Bombay. The effect was shattering to the enemy, as in a departure from normal, the G-8 leaders actually condemned terrorism for a change and told him that India had been a very responsible child. As a result, they rewarded Doctor by telling him he was doing a sterling job and that India was headed in the right direction.
If there were any terrorists who did not renounce their paths due to this, they are surely going to be forced into giving up terrorism forever and be forced to live a mundane life after Doctor Singh fired his bonus weapons. I mean, really, with blogs blocked, we really have them on the run! They’ll never know who is to bomb what, nor when to call up the Mastermind blogger whose comment book too will obviously be inaccessible…
Having got them on the run – if not shivering in some jail cell post-surrender – Doctor is now going to let loose the biggest Indian weapon of them all – peace talks with the General. If I were a terrorist I would really prefer being in Lebanon at this moment…really…after all, who wouldn’t prefer the much safer atmosphere there, with friendly air-drops and the palsy-walsy country across the border? That nice Hezbollah there would ensure that I didn’t ever have to figure in peace talks et al…sheer bliss and lifelong safety and security for my family…
Bombs away then...
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