Common Ground....Perhaps...

"But it's love. Stop rationalizing"
"Nothing can exist that is not rational."
"Love is....you can never explain it with logic."
"I just did, didn't I?"
"Yeah....but I don't want to believe that....you make it sound so cold and logical..."

And that's the truth. We don't WANT to believe it. The truth is that love does not exist, not in the sense that the movies and books and fairytales teach us as children. It's a fairytale concept, in that it is unreal. A myth. I read a post by Egghead that "intuition" is something "illogical" and is something not given enough credence. My view is simple. There is no such thing as "intuition" in the way we think of it.

Intuition is just a series of mental calculations that happens without our knowing it. We reach a logical conclusion based on probabilities that our brains compute, leading us to certain answers. It happens without our even realizing that it happened. And that's why we just tag it as "intuition", as something built-in, something that's "supernatural" almost..... It's the same with "love".

Most people just like to believe in the concept of love....that's all. It is just an emotion like any other. Let's take a small example.

"Do you love your parents?"
Nine out of ten at least, would answer yes, for at least one parent.
"Did you choose your parents?"
No....this, I am sure holds true for everyone ;-)
"So, what made you love them?

Answer: Rationality. Logic. And reason. Confronted with a situation that did not give you a choice, your brain made a decision. And that decided your emotions....together with the conditioning you were given that "you should love your parents." So where does that leave us? It essentially leaves us with the cold fact, that "love" is nothing more or less than a commonplace and weak (in the commonplace, everyday relationships) emotion that is easy to explain in terms of cold rationality.

Weak? Yep. Ever seen good friendships break over the trivialities that affect relationships? I think not.... For all the crap that people give about, "I'd do anything for him/her", the fact remains that any relationship based on things other than a deep friendship is more fragile than even a bone china cup...it is a farcical entity created out of the imaginations of two people who dream up visions of what the other is like....only to have them shattered, sooner or later.

Now, I hear people saying "you can't mention the thingy about parents and extrapolate." Fair enough. The fact is that even in the conventional (if I may say so) "relationship", if it is "real", the thing that makes it happen is that calculation that tells you that your chances of being happy with someone are higher with one person than with others. And that is why, several times, people are torn between two choices at certain moments. While the asinine fairytale concept will tell you that you can only love once, that's asinine (as I mentioned) and total bullcrap!!!! Sadly though, most people don't have a solid foundation or anything. They go with "their heart", which in common parlance can be substituted with "their arse".

Forget loving only once, you can love two people at the same time too!!! The degree may differ, but you can. I have seen it happen, as I am sure, have many of you...."Love" therefore is essentially a stupid concept peddled by movies, fairytales and card-shops, to dupe people into believing in it. The cycle becomes complete, when these people, after convincing themselves, convince others, who continue the cycle, aided all along by the vendors mentioned above....

"Why would you want to leave a path that has brought you happiness in the past?"
"Because of the realization that with it, it could bring so much grief and leave me open to so much pain."
"Would you think the same if it hadn't happened?"
"It did happen so the question is pointless."
"What if it could happen again?"
"That's what I am afraid of...."

Life, somehow, is never as unidimensional as we like to believe it is. There is always, in the immortal words of Star Wars, "the Dark Side". A dark side, which we conveniently ignore most of the time. Sometimes though, we are also guilty of focussing only on the dark side. I have seldom seen a person who is able to take a view of the two jointly and make a call based on....the common ground, for lack of a better term.

A Silent Message

Sometimes you see things in a manner so different to somone else. You think you see things the way they are, you think you know exactly where the other person is screwing up and most of all, you think you know what should be done to set it right. Ask someone else and it's highly likely you'd be told your views are right and should be explained and dinned into the other person's head......

Pause for thought though and it strikes me that noone is senseless really. For all the seemingly inane things you hear, there's always some kind of logic in the decisions that people make, there's always something behind their words, or they wouldn't behave in the manner that they do. After all, noone wants to be senseless. Even a "mad person" has his own logic; we may call it perverted or crazy, but to whatever brain he possesses, his actions are perfectly logical!

Sometimes I see things and wonder just what logic the other person is working on. Sometimes I wonder if I should stop the other person and try to explain what I think......but then I wonder. We judge things from our own limited perspectives and viewpoints. The person facing the situation sees all that we do and more. This person makes decisions based on what and how the facts appear to be......so, why question the wisdom behind the judgment?

Why then, do so many people seem to be in the process of committing harakiri every single day? Why is it then that sometimes we see the disastrous results that await well before these people do? And why then do I still hold back?

In Mars We Trust - V

To start off, let me just list down a few pearls of wisdom that have flowed from the beautiful and lipstick-coated lips of a few women I happen to know….and then we'll get to the driver joke that people have asked for....

“You know, it was one of those days when everything goes wrong and you know, those are the days when somehow, nothing seems to go right, and then you feel as if, whatever you do, somehow, everything will go wrong and….well….everything goes wrong…” (Oh! Do you think that may have something to do with nothing going right?)

Fresher woman on IIML campus asking a senior guy for certain directions:

She: Can you tell me where the confectionary shop is?
Guy: Huh? Confectionary shop?
She: Yeah. I need to buy a lock!

Like, what was she thinking? Perhaps she felt that if she lost her key, at least she could eat a nice, “sweet” little lock, instead of having to break an ugly metal one…..

Another fresher woman to senior guy whom she knew in college:

“Hi! I’ve been looking for you for the past week! I mean not really looking for you, but you know, since I reached here day before, I was trying to find you. Not exactly searching for you, but I was in a way looking for you.”

If you think you’re floored, imagine that poor chap’s expression!!! He was sitting in the middle of a group of his friends and looked as if he just couldn’t wait for the Earth to split and consume him……

Or how about this one, from a girl headed to the hallowed portals of IIMA:

“I never thought I could make it to IIMA. I was totally confident that I would crack CAT and the interview and GD and all, but I was sure I would never make it to IIMA. I was so surprised when I even got an interview call! And seriously, though I was so confident that I would crack CAT and all, I never thought I would get calls and all….”

No, I shall not divulge names here……and no, I do not have a clue what this woman was trying to convey….somehow though, I get the feeling she may not have known what the word “cracking” means when used in this context……*sigh*

Anyway, as promised, here’s the “driver” joke…..

Now, one fine day, Batman decided to pick up Superman and head out for a nice, long drive in the country……on the way though, the stupid Batmobile broke down and being miles away from home and Alfred, there was just nothing that could be done about it…..because both these chappies had been too busy fighting crime to ever learn about repairing cars and mundane things like that…..

Well, along came this couple, a really intelligent man and a really intelligent woman….and they offered these two a lift. Having no real option, the offer was accepted at once and the happy foursome headed on into the open country roads.

A mile down the road, the car had an accident and three of the passengers died……guess who the only survivor was!

Yep, as you may have guessed, this is a feminist joke thus far…..it was the intelligent woman as the rest are fictitious characters….

Women stop reading here!!!!!

Now guys, between ourselves, we all know that we needed to give them some false solace and that’s the only reason why we told them that one….we all know the real truth!!!! And Hell, let’s face it! It had to be the stupid woman that was driving…..that’s the only way they could have had an accident on an open country road!!!!!

Women: If you’re reading this, you’ve just proved the point. You don’t LISTEN!!!!!

In Mars We Trust - IV

This post has been inspired and prompted by a statement that a friend of mine made that he could write a thesis on the lines that women use to get out of sticky situations.....

She: You see that chap there? I think he’s damn hot!
Me: Yeah? I think he looks gay actually…..Hahaha (seeing her expression now)….errrr……ok…..ummm…..
She: F*ck off! He’s HOT!!!!
Me: OK…as you say….
She: What are you looking at?
Me: Nothing, nothing….just that female there at the bar…
She: Listen! You’re out with me ok??? Stop looking at other women!!!

Now, considering that the “she” in question was my COUSIN, I failed completely to understand what the entire “don’t look at other women” thing was about!!!! So, in usual style, I decided that perhaps the best way to unravel this mystery was to ask another woman about it. The answer I got was, well, nothing short of mystifying in its own right!!!

“See, it’s like, even if we women are out with someone we’re not seeing or anything, we don’t like it if the guy is looking at someone else. It’s not really like we’re jealous, but well, you know. (I don’t actually – JB). And like, if we’re looking at some guy we find hot, we know that you’ll understand!” Huh????? It went on, by the way. “Like, even if I may have turned down a chap, I would feel really pissed if he spoke about some other woman.”

Now, this just about tore it, as I am sure you will understand (unless I am the only guy here that feels a bit hard-done by this mentality of women), and therefore, for the benefit of mankind (pun intended) at large, I have decided to just pen down a few truths.

Women, stop reading here, because your dirty, dark secrets are going to be exposed. I’ve warned you!!!! Now, guys, remember, when a woman does something wrong, or wants something from you that you would not normally (I mean when you’re in your senses) do or give, she uses a few weapons and lines and you’d be well advised to be on your guard when you see or hear these signals.

1. “I was so confused”. This line invariably means she screwed up and wants you to ignore. It’ll be accompanied with the “Poor me” expression, wide eyes and welling tears….

2. “I…I thought…I thought you’d understand”. This comes with a quavering voice, bitten lip and more welling tears……it means she really really really screwed up and wants you to ignore in the interest of your relationship and your health!!!!

3.“I…I didn’t know…I didn’t know what to do!” This is meant to appeal to your chivalry (and the MCP streak in you) and make you think of her as a “poor, weak woman” and forgive her big goof-up. All the time, she’s laughing her guts out!!!! Oh and yeah, need I mention, this is also accompanied with….yes, tears!!!!

4. “Don’t ask me to choose…..please.” (More wide eyes and sadness reflecting in the tears that are just ready to spill). Yeah, this line is meant to postpone your ultimatum to her…..it’s the time when she makes you accept the state where she’s having the best of both the worlds….you are expected to play the willing martyr….

Now, there are tons more, but those will have to wait for another day…..and are you wondering how I forgot their primary weapon? I didn’t actually….I was just saving their best for my last….

Tears!!! Now, IBM talks of “on-demand business”. But trust me, nothing is as on-demand as tears for a woman. So, whether it’s the time you caught her cheating, or spying on you, or the time she falsely accused you, or just when she wants attention or whatever, she’s gonna cry. Now, most of us guys know this already, but we’re still scared s*itless when we see tears!!! And these diabolical creatures use this so well to their advantage!!!!! So the next time you see her cry, you know you should be on your guard!!!!

Now, I must also give you my advice on this. If you’re a sensible guy, (which by reading my blog you prove you are), you will remember these things and nicely choose to completely ignore them when you’re with a woman next……unless you want a broken leg, an arm in a sling and a bleeding nose…..not to mention a broken relationship/friendship………or a sulking cousin…..

Now, if I receive any more death threats in my comments, I’ll know that you women failed to heed the statement where I asked you to read no further….provoing another thing….women don’t listen!!!Yeah, this is also reflected in that “driver” joke…..which I am sure you’ve all heard…..(drop a comment if you haven’t ;-) )

The Infection....

Yep, been infected with the Book Meme virus....got it from Geets and Girish. So you know exactly whom to blame if I decide to "tag" you at the end of this and you too are thereby infected :-)

I really haven't being doing too much reading for the past few months really. Mainly because I have been into a whole new and very time-consuming exercise.....doing nothing. As I've no doubt mentioned earlier, I find it one of the most engrossing occupations....but never mind about that.....let's proceed with the Book Meme thingy....

Total Number of Books I Own:

This is kinda dubious. If this means the books in my HOUSE, that would be....ummm.....well over a thousand. And I am not joking. And no, these do not include academic books and all that. Both my mother and I are avid readers and a visit to the bookstore which is common) yields an addition of at least 10-15 to the already immense collection. My OWN collection (books I have bought) probably stands in the region of around 250 or so....

Last Book I Bought: Bought 4 books last time I did. They were "The Dilbert Future", "Apology", "Liar's Poker" and "Paradise Lost".

Last Book I Read: "Apology" by Plato. It's about the trial and subsequent conviction of Socrates by the people of Athens. The speech by Socrates is mind-numbing at some parts.

Five Books That Mean a Lot to Me: This is another toughie....but here goes. These are not ranked or anything like that......

1. Chariots of the Gods. I read it at a time when I had a great thirst for knowledge and a great deal of cynicism about the things I was being told to believe. This book did wonders for me. Opened my mind to a new school of thuoght. I now hold a different belief, but this book is the one that started me down that path.

2. Symoposium. This book by Plato is the first of the Socratic dialogues I read. The concept of absolutism was something that always troubled me. The reasoning of Socrates when advocating the relativity and situational aspects is so lucid. It's also very close to the Gita in some ways.

3. The Code of the Woosters. PG Wodehouse at his supreme best. This man's talent for making things sound hilarious is beyond anything I have ever come across. His usage of words is phenomenal too. He's done wonders for my vocabulary. I read this book when really depressed...and it was amazing how good I suddenly felt.....awesome....

4. The Bhagwad Gita. I am not religious in any way....and nor is the book essentially. Take away the parts about "God" (which IMHO are midieval additions to make it more acceptable to a layman) and the truths in that are something amazing. A reading of Socratic dialogues after that shows so many similarities in thought.....fantastic.....

5. Ancient Indian Philosophy. Possible the biggest revelation and the best. It's amazing to realize that the true Indian philosophy does not define "God", does not mention "God" and lays down no rules. It is mind-numbingly brilliant. Those people spoke about a unified theory, the oneness of force etc....these concepts have only struck the modern (read western) world recently. (The unified theory and the oneness concepts have developed only in the 90s). I was not able to read this completely, but it spellbound me while I was at it.......a must-read....will add more once I get hold of it and finish reading the entire book.

Tag five people and have them do this on their blogs:

Neeta
Suhas
Vidhi
Egghead
Ted

Cheers folks! And yeah, barring any major events cropping up, my next planned post is "In Mars We Trust - IV". In case you haven't read the previous ones and want to (can't believe why anyone WOULD want to, but still, one does endeavour to be as lucid as possible and maintain continuity), you can at:

In Mars We Trust - I
Appendix to In Mars We Trust - I
In Mars We Trust - II
In Mars We Trust - III

Forever Ends Today

"Forever!" What a word. Almost every idiot on the street uses this word to describe timeframes varying from how he will love his girlfriend to how long his current happiness/sorrow will plague him to whatever you may care to imagine....and just how long does this forever last? Umm....well, let's just say, way shorter than you may think from the definition of the word.

So why do we still believe in those that care to use (abuse, some may say) this word? To put it simply, coz most people are just too gullible and would like to believe every nice thing they hear about themselves and also every really terrible thing they hear about someone else! Think about it! After all how else does one explain the sheer idiocy of those who fall for this word every single time? "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!!"

These thoughts have been doing the rounds of my head for the past few weeks. It's silly season these days you see. Every person I meet is either "in love" or "about to fall in love" or "married" or something like that....and all of them are mentioning this word at the drop of a hat!!! It gets ridiculous when your 10-year old neice uses the word!! Thankfully I don't have a 10-year old neice and have therefore not had this misfortune but, well, was just thinking of the horror that such a scene would instill in me anyway :-)

Call me a cynic if you like but I prefer to be realistic. What lasts forever? Nothing!!!! Without going into the Sanaatan theory (Maya) of the Universe (which essentially proves that the Universe does not exist), if I accept that the Universe is an entity that exists, it too has a "lifetime". It ends at a point (as per the scientific theory accepted today). So, what does this "forever" that people mention imply? Their lifetime? A look at life and you'd be better advised to revise your estimate to "today and perhaps tomorrow" at best.

Yeah yeah, I know that most people would like to disbelieve this and say that THEIR forever will last forever......but that's just the point!!! It's what they WANT to believe. Nothing is eternal. Not joy, not sorrow, nor love nor hate......perhaps the closest that an emotion comes to being eternal (for a lifetime) is hatred. This is something else I really believe....

People talk of "love" as the most powerful emotion. I beg to differ. Simply because hatred is definitely far more powerful ("Do not underestimate the power of the dark side"). Really, look around you and you will see more broken love affairs than the blades of hair on your head (even if you have a really thick thatch) but how many hatreds do you see broken? I am not talking about a dislike, I am talking about a deep-set hatred (something like the way I hate green veggies ;-) ). Answer: Not too many, if any at all. I personally, have not seen any......

Ultimately, we'd all be better off believing the truth as we see it around us and inside us rather than a series of lies and hallucinations which just consciously delude the brain into a feeling of "happiness". It saves so much trouble....

Victorious Loser

For the first time I am looking forward to going back to college. Not that college suddenly seems so attractive. I just need to get away from here......perhaps I am just running away.....Thanks for talking yesterday D. It meant more than you will ever realize....and R, I saw it yesterday.....we will make it....there is no alternative....

For every sign sought in the darkness of day,
There was an answer that in dusk lay,
For every day that dawned cloaked in red,
There was an eve waiting in black hope to robe,
In darkest realm when suns set on life,
There's someone waiting for rays to show,
When closing minds seem all you can find,
Arms of time are just where I hide

Hordes chasing without, within their selves,
Fingers ever eluding the hands they seek,
Flooded plains tell tales of sights untold,
Eyes beseech embraces they never behold,
Meanings read from dusty runes on stone,
Could not deny the peace of that walk on the shore,
Songs of solitude sung amidst throngs of adorers,
Thoughts fly over the minds meant just for show

Noise filling the mind with unheard sighs,
The body craves the peace we ever it deny,
Paths trodden by the lost seeking home,
Leading only to lands peopled by the forlorn,
Courage unbounded never could be enough,
Dead will denying all that could ever be found,
The lie of the self deluding belief to distrust,
Truth becomes a mystery to the mind in today bound

Slowing mists descend on welcoming lands,
The peering eyes see nothing but a rhyme,
Moving shadows create illusions of straight lines,
A lie shows the path to a truthful denial,
Dreams lead the way to mires of rising shrouds,
Curtains lifting hide scenes of a demolished life,
And when the pyre burns covering wasted time,
An old man sees the fortune of those that have died

Starting At The End

"What's the matter?"
"Nothing"
"C'mon..."
"Really...Nothing.."
"OK.....want another drink?"

Who was it that said lightning never strikes the same spot twice? Don't know for sure, but I definitely disagree. Sometimes the only thing that seems sure is the very uncertainty. Wish at times that I could dictate the way I think or the things I do.....most of the time, I fail....

"I'm sure half the world loves you.."
"Errr.....damn! Looks like I only know the other half then.."

Yeah.....sometimes you're just in the wrong place, with the wrong people at the wrong time.....with me, it's either one or the other.....never none.....

"Try figuring out what's wrong.."
"What's wrong is that I know what's wrong...."

Sometimes, knowing the damn problem is worse than the ignorance that precedes. Sometimes knowing the answer is the worst thing that can ever happen.....guess that's why they say, "Ignorance is bliss".

"You seem different today...something the matter?"
"No....I'm on top of the freaking world"

Why the f*ck can none of us ever give an honest answer to the most basic questions? Just that with me I can't to any question.....can't help it.... it's the way I am....

"What the f*ck do you want from me? I don't understand and it's screwing my brain....and the more I try to make sense of it, the deeper the hole becomes...."

Silence.....